So much stuff has happened since yesterday and none of it is good. Jeremy calls and asks me to get dressed up so he can take me out and pick a place to go to. He also asked for Destin. I guess forget about Elijah huh? Then he comes to get Destin to take him to get pictures. So I went to the mall and bought a nice dress with some accessories to go with it. Matching earrings, necklaces etc. I made a reservation at a upscale restuarant Downtown and got my hair done. He comes to get Destin and I was of coarse still upset about him abandoning me and the kids the other night again for the 4th time. I didn’t say much to him, but he could tell I was upset.

So around 7:30pm my sister calls me to say that he wants me to reschedule the reservation to a later time. I was fine with that, but I was still upset about him abandoning us. Taking me out is not going to fix it. So when I spoke to him on the phone about what he did and how unfair it is to me and the kids he acts like I am wrong for feeling the way I do and says he’s going to keep Destin for the weekend since I have an attitude and forget about going out. If I have to ignore my feelings to go out with him then I will never go out with him.

What am I suppose to do? Keep my feelings bottled up and not say anything to him at all about how him going MIA makes me feel? I got dressed up and spent all this money on these clothes, got my hair done just for him to dog me for being upset. It’s so unfair. Then he leaves me voicemails stating he is wrong but then he’d start justifying his reasons and bringing up Elijah’s Dad, Brian and Anthony.

Wait a minute…what does Chris have to do with him disappearing? The last time I checked I was with Jeremy not Chris. And bringing up Anthony who can careless about our problems or even Brian whom lives in L.A . is really stupid. What about when he was talking to some brad on the phone that his Mom’s friend wanted him to talk to because we were having relationship problems? I never talked to Brian to start a new relationship, but a friendship if any.

He calls me again and I asked him to bring Destin back home close to tears. I’m so tired of the stress and being treated like shit and he has to nerve to tell me no. I can’t believe he thought he had the right! He hasn’t been here listening to Destin screaming and crying, feeding him, bathing him, changing him and playing with him. I have not him! So I called the police and told them the situation. He ended up bringing back Destin and getting the rest of his mess out my apartment. Good riddens! While I was waiting for him to bring Destin back he sends me text messages like it’s funny to him. He doesn’t care how I feel or how the things he does affects me or the baby I’m carrying. It’s all fun and games to him, but he doesn’t realize he’s the big joke.

So I called my friends and vented to them trying to get some kind of comfort and Tenisha and I went to Bahama Breeze to eat because again I was really depressed and stressed out. I wish I wasn’t pregnant so I could’ve gotten a drink. I could really use one.

I couldn’t really settle done last night at all either because my mind was racing with all the lies he’s told on me and the horrible things he’s put me through. I just laid there tossing and turning. I probably got an hour of sleep and I haven’t been eating well at all because of the stress. Yesterday I’m shocked I actually ate three meals! The day before all I had was pretzel sticks and a bowl of rice for dinner. I know this isn’t healthy for me or my baby so I prayed for God to deliver me from the emotional bondage of Jeremy. I need to be free of him so I can focus on my kids, myself, God and my future.

Then he text messages me later this morning with some more bullshit text’s. Why even bother…he claimed we weren’t together on the voicemails yesterday and how he was going to go back to being like he was when he lived down south and all this mess. I honestly don’t care anymore. He only wants to be with me when it’s convenient for him. I didn’t respond to any of the texts. It’s not worth it…what’s the point when he can’t respect my feelings? It’s useless so I’ll just delete them and ignore him. There’s no point in talking to someone whom stresses me out this much.

Tonight My friend Kim is setting me up with someone so I’m going to enjoy this mystery guy for the night and not think about Jeremy.

Today I was pretty bored and I didn’t want to bore you talking about myself going shopping today or destroying the house for my phone charger (which I never found) and my maternity panels (which I found). So here’s a simple survey about me:

Workers compensation is getting on nerves with the tardiness of my payments being received. I started looking for a job yesterday because I’ve had enough of them. I applied for several positions at Whole Foods (an organic and natural foods grocery store) that starts at $10/hourly. I also drove out to the airport and applied there at the Avis Rental Car Company as a Service Specialist (preparation & maintenance of the vehicles). Today I’m looking for some more places to appply that pay’s no less than $10 at full time of coarse.

I called workers Comp and tried again to get the monay situation fixed. Then I was told that as soon as I began VOC Rehab again I will be getting paid $342 a week or $684/biweekly. Let’s see…that’s only $8.55 an hour! It’s better than $452, but that ain’t shit. If I work full time at Whole Foods in the floral, produce or cashier department full time at $10.00 an hour that will be about $800 biweekly before taxes.

So what should I do? Go to the VOC Rehab training for $684 or get a real job for $800 before taxes?

The Benefits of the Two…

The baby will be born in the beginning of September and I’ll be moving in October. One thing for sure I’ll be able to save more with a job, but I’ll be still receiving cash even while I’m recovering from labor and delivery and maybe a few weeks after I move so I can have time to get a job in Florida if I stay with workers comp, but if I get hired at Whole Foods I might be able to transfer the job to Florida and won’t have to look for a job.

Let’s just wait and see…maybe I should pray on it.

I got an ultrasound yesterday and they found out where the bleeding is coming from…apparently it’s not placenta abruptio at all, but that I have a blood clot in my uterus. No one knows how on Earth that happened, but I know I’m not having anymore kids. If this baby isn’t a girl…I’ll just adopt. I have a pic of the baby, but I’ll add it later.

Here’s the pic of my hopefully daughter:

Today has been quite a day…

I went to the mall and bought me a ponytail and an Icee. I saw my sister at the mall and talked to her for a while and then I talked to my Mom at JCPenny’s and helped her pick out some shoes. While I was helping her a guy that worked in the shoe department kept talking to me, and kept coming back and talking more. After helping my mom I went home and Jeremy still hadn’t showed up or called. I tried calling him, but the phone continued to go to the voicemail. When I got in the house I typed up an eviction notice to give to him. Then Brian called my cell phone because I gave him my number and asked me was I ok because he read my blog. I told him no and then he told me he’ll call me later when he got a better phone.

When he did call me back I talked to him for hours and he asked me to tell him everything so I did. He was very upset when he found out I almost died because of Jeremy’s foolishness. He said I need to stop putting my life in danger for Jeremy and told me about a friend he knew 2 years ago who died from an eptopic pregnancy because the doctors didn’t catch it in time and she bled to death. I felt terrible because that could have been me. That’s why I can’t forgive Jeremy for cheating on me after he put me through that.

Later I went to James’ house and picked him so we can see if we could find Jeremy to give him the eviction notice and he was nowhere to be found. I won’t look for him anymore because he’s not worth the time or trouble. I tried calling him again and this time the phone actually rang and he refused to answer the phone I called him three more times and he did not answer so…I sent him a text message asking him to come get his things. During this whole incident James and I were almost killed. If it wasn’t for Jeremy our lives would have never been at stake because we would’ve never been out looking for him if he was treating me and the kids right.

James and I were driving down Loganberry and an SUV drove up behind us with bright lights on and tail ended us. I could not see at all because the lights blinded me so I started driving really slow. When we reached the corner I stopped and got out the car and asked the driver would he turn his lights down because I could not see. I proceeded back to the car and the driver said “What you mad?” and jumped out the car when he realized I was a girl and tried to intimidate me. I thought it was so funny because when he thought I was a guy he didn’t say anything. I asked him again to turn the lights down. He then threatened to beat me up and refused to turn the lights down, so I asked him to drive around me so I could see and he continued to threaten me. I then told him there was another person in the car so he would know I was not alone. When I said that he claimed he had a gun, and went into the car to get something. He then began to taunt me as if he had the gun in his pants and threatened to shoot both me and James. I continued to stand my ground because I fear NO ONE BUT GOD. I asked him to go around again and he threatened me again and I said I was calling the police. When I said that he ran to his car and almost hit me trying to leave. Instead of hitting me he hit my car door and was stuck by my door. So I said let me get his license plate and he yelled “Get the fucking plates I don’t care!” I walked behind my car while he was stuck and memorized the plates screaming to James to get a pen while constantly repeating the plates. The man backed up off my car door and drove off in a panic. BUT…I got the plates…and called the police. The police came and I made a police report and we gave them the license plates…which of course were the right license plates to the black Land Rover he was driving. (HA!) James and I told the Police everything and that we feared for our lives and he almost hit me. I also told them I was four months pregnant and wrote everything in the report including a description of him. They asked me if I wanted to press charges for Aggervated Menancing and I said “YES”. I hope that bitch goes to jail.

That’s how my day went stressful and full of drama. Now me and James are here at my house hanging out at 4am in the morning.

By the way James wrote this post today while I narrated it…I just edited it a bit.

I will like to apologize to all my readers for the inconvience of the comments not working. I didn’t know they did not work until the other day and after two days of trying to figure out why they didn’t work I finally got them to work by adding a page called single.php to my theme. So now if you want to leave any comments you may do so without any problem.

The funny thing is that the comments page works on my Tropical Paradise theme and it doesn’t have a single.php file, but they work now so that’s a good thing.

Another update is that I’ve added a new feature to the blog so you may subscribe to my entries if you’re interested. All you have to do is enter your email and every time an entry is posted you will receive an email letting you know when an entry has been added. Of coarse…you may unsubscribe from my blog at anytime and your email is NEVER given to any third party sites.

Well I gotta go do my hair and visit the beauty store to pick up a few things.

Maybe later I’ll add some more to this entry about my day.

Today I’m working on a new theme for the site. I just thought I’d post this here so everyone will know why the site may look weird once again. This new theme is going to be my default theme instead of the old pink one I started out with…

I noticed my comments aren’t working at all. I wonder what happened???

They used to work, but now they don’t at all.

Today I felt the baby move for the first (actually sure it was the baby) time. I felt her moving earlier today and she’s moving now as I type. I can’t wait to be sure that it is a girl.

Yesterday was so tiresome. Elijah had his birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese and I was more worn out than ever. When I got home I fell alseep on the couch.

His party started at 2pm, but because Chuck E. Cheese was understaffed the party coordinator didn’t show up until 2:30pm and our food didn’t come until 3:30. Then it took almost an hour to get the birthday cake and about an hour later I had to complain to the manager about not receiving Elijah’s 500 tickets, the guests 100 tickets and the goody bags just to get them. After we sung happy birhday Destin fell alseep so I gave Elijah the rest of his tokens that he didn’t use. We also used the 32 tokens that we for little Jeremy (Elijah’s cousin) whom didn’t even show up for the second time that I’ve thrown a party for him at Chuck E. Cheese. Oh well, this was the last birthday party Elijah is going to have here because we’re moving and if little Jeremy wanted to attend a birthday party for Elijah he’d have to catch a plane to Florida which I absolutely doubt his Mom and him will do.ÂÂ

Anyways, it took about an hour to use the rest of the tokens even when I spilt them among my Mom, Elijah and Malcolm. Malcolm and I played Skee Ball continously because the basketball game was off and that was the only game worth playing. If we had the party in Mentor like I wanted, it would have been better games to play.

It was so crowded and full of rude kids with no manners that would just barg through, run, etc. without saying “sorry” or “excuse me”. I don’t believe I got out of there until 5 or 6pm and by then I was ready to take a nap because I was so drained.

Today I wanted to go to “Ho Wah”, a really nice chinese resturant with really good food. Way better than the “Jade Tree”. It looks really upscale inside with nice white table clothes, fancy glasses, and dishes, soft lighting and a full bar with glasses that hang over head along with the lovely artwork that they have hanging on the walls, but Jeremy is such a pain in the ass. So I can kiss that wish goodbye.

Well I gotta go and see about my two boys.

I’m finally done with my Tropical Paradise theme. I finished everything today so now it’s ready for the summer. If you were lucky you may have gotten a chance to see it and the new plugins in action. Well on to other things…

How much I hate Winter…

It just won’t go away. One day we’re enjoying nice weather…I mean 70 degree weather. Then the very next day it’s snowing outside with temperatures in the 30′s and below! I cannot wait to move…we have 198 days left and hopefully only 15 more day’s of cold weather…hopefully not. I didn’t look at the weather to see when it’s going to actually warm up for good so hopefully it’s less. I hope it doesn’t continue to be cold in April. When it does finally warm up for good I’ll be so glad. Warm weather to me means we’re getting closer to the big move. To leave this state forever and finally move to Florida.

It means no more being pregnant and no more stupid winter weather. I won’t have to see anyone that I don’t want to see. I’m pretty sure you all know what people I’m referring to. It’ll be lovely not to have to see their lying faces for the next 198 days because when I move I’m gone forever. I might visit my family in the summer, but you can forget about me coming back here any other time to see anyone.

That may sound a bit selfish, but hell it’s about time I have some peace.

Okay..now I need to finish getting my car to working like new. I got a new engine…well used engine that had 33,000 miles on it. I got a new alternator and some new belts. So here’s a list of what needs to be done next:

• April
• Tune up $100
• Transmission Flush $80

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•  May
• New Tires $160.00
• Wheel Alignment $40
• Door fixed by Jeremy

That’s about it. I’ll get an oil change towards the end of September and I’m going to buy a new CD player for my car probably in July.

In June Jeremy and I are going to Florida for 3 days to look at apartments and maybe fill out job applications too. The plane tickets are about $250 a piece. I already have $1200 saved. I still need to get my money together for the trip to Florida by May. I also gotta save money for half of the hotel stay which will be about $75. I think $500 will be enough to go for my half anyway. I need to get on Jeremy to save his half of the money so we will both have a comfortable trip to and from Florida.

Today I’m going to start setting up my summer theme so it will be ready for the summer. When I’m done I’ll switch it back to the spring theme. I’m going to try the muted peach, salmon and brown colors first. If I don’t like it then I’ll make the banner over and add some green or blue to the theme. I was going for a “Tropical Paradise” look. So again if you visit my site today and it looks odd again…don’t despair. It’s only temporary once again.

Well I finally got the theme together. I just need to make the finishing touches on the footer. The theme colors may change…I don’t know. My spring theme looks so much better, but I was going for something different. I also got a new plugin so people can subscribe to my blog…it took me hours to finally get it to work and it’s know 2:32am and I finally managed to get the plugin to work. I had to have downloaded over 10 plugins that didn’t work, but only messed up everything and it took me hours of internet searches to find a plugin to do what I wanted.

At least that’s over. Now I’m going to finish the footer ans switch it back to the Spring theme. Then I can finally get some Z’s.

Today I found a new layout that I like for my summer theme. I never use the exact layout, but I take a few things that I like from it, add some ideas of my own to make it original and set the layout up like that. The layout I found has a banner, footer, top navgation and sidebar that I will not be mimicing. It’s just the actual layout of where things appear is what I was looking at. I don’t want none of my layouts to be exactly the same. Like this one for instance. It has a full sidebar with different styled headers. The actual content is totally different and so is the banner and top navigation. This layout is nothing like the Pink Sugar Globe layout except the footer of coarse. I might change it or it may stay the way it is.

Anyways…

I have a basic understanding of how I want my layout to look so now I need to think about the colors…maybe a soft yellow, soft orange and soft blue??? I don’t want to use anything that’s harsh and bright. It has to be muted soft colors, something easy on the eyes. The worst thing is to go to a website and get a headache from the loudness of the colors!

Well I’ll work on the theme later. Right now I’m getting ready to go shopping again with Destin of coarse.