SSDD…Again
Saturday, March 31st, 2007So much stuff has happened since yesterday and none of it is good. Jeremy calls and asks me to get dressed up so he can take me out and pick a place to go to. He also asked for Destin. I guess forget about Elijah huh? Then he comes to get Destin to take him to get pictures. So I went to the mall and bought a nice dress with some accessories to go with it. Matching earrings, necklaces etc. I made a reservation at a upscale restuarant Downtown and got my hair done. He comes to get Destin and I was of coarse still upset about him abandoning me and the kids the other night again for the 4th time. I didn’t say much to him, but he could tell I was upset.
So around 7:30pm my sister calls me to say that he wants me to reschedule the reservation to a later time. I was fine with that, but I was still upset about him abandoning us. Taking me out is not going to fix it. So when I spoke to him on the phone about what he did and how unfair it is to me and the kids he acts like I am wrong for feeling the way I do and says he’s going to keep Destin for the weekend since I have an attitude and forget about going out. If I have to ignore my feelings to go out with him then I will never go out with him.
What am I suppose to do? Keep my feelings bottled up and not say anything to him at all about how him going MIA makes me feel? I got dressed up and spent all this money on these clothes, got my hair done just for him to dog me for being upset. It’s so unfair. Then he leaves me voicemails stating he is wrong but then he’d start justifying his reasons and bringing up Elijah’s Dad, Brian and Anthony.
Wait a minute…what does Chris have to do with him disappearing? The last time I checked I was with Jeremy not Chris. And bringing up Anthony who can careless about our problems or even Brian whom lives in L.A . is really stupid. What about when he was talking to some brad on the phone that his Mom’s friend wanted him to talk to because we were having relationship problems? I never talked to Brian to start a new relationship, but a friendship if any.
He calls me again and I asked him to bring Destin back home close to tears. I’m so tired of the stress and being treated like shit and he has to nerve to tell me no. I can’t believe he thought he had the right! He hasn’t been here listening to Destin screaming and crying, feeding him, bathing him, changing him and playing with him. I have not him! So I called the police and told them the situation. He ended up bringing back Destin and getting the rest of his mess out my apartment. Good riddens! While I was waiting for him to bring Destin back he sends me text messages like it’s funny to him. He doesn’t care how I feel or how the things he does affects me or the baby I’m carrying. It’s all fun and games to him, but he doesn’t realize he’s the big joke.
So I called my friends and vented to them trying to get some kind of comfort and Tenisha and I went to Bahama Breeze to eat because again I was really depressed and stressed out. I wish I wasn’t pregnant so I could’ve gotten a drink. I could really use one.
I couldn’t really settle done last night at all either because my mind was racing with all the lies he’s told on me and the horrible things he’s put me through. I just laid there tossing and turning. I probably got an hour of sleep and I haven’t been eating well at all because of the stress. Yesterday I’m shocked I actually ate three meals! The day before all I had was pretzel sticks and a bowl of rice for dinner. I know this isn’t healthy for me or my baby so I prayed for God to deliver me from the emotional bondage of Jeremy. I need to be free of him so I can focus on my kids, myself, God and my future.
Then he text messages me later this morning with some more bullshit text’s. Why even bother…he claimed we weren’t together on the voicemails yesterday and how he was going to go back to being like he was when he lived down south and all this mess. I honestly don’t care anymore. He only wants to be with me when it’s convenient for him. I didn’t respond to any of the texts. It’s not worth it…what’s the point when he can’t respect my feelings? It’s useless so I’ll just delete them and ignore him. There’s no point in talking to someone whom stresses me out this much.
Tonight My friend Kim is setting me up with someone so I’m going to enjoy this mystery guy for the night and not think about Jeremy.
