Next week is suppose to be my last week in training. If you’ve read the previous post, I have finished everything in the training program and there is nothing left for me to do. So now BWC wants me to start a job search which is utterly impossible. For one, I’m 7 months pregnant, and two, I am moving to Florida in October. I clearly do not want a job here and there isn’t any jobs here anyway.

I explained this to my case manager and she misinterpeted my email thinking I was 8 months pregnant and wrote up a plan that will only pay me for 35 days from July to August for Medical Leave. After 35 days I will get an additional 30 days of unpaid leave.

Now does that sound stupid or what? Why would you begin my Medical Leave in July instead of August? I will still be pregnant in August! I explained this to her and today I got a message from her saying that I could do some additional training.

I’m tired of this place! Next week is suppose to be my last week here and I’m tired of being bored out of my mind! I have finished everything that there is to do here and I really don’t want to prolong this torture any longer! They already extended it a week when I was absent due to my Florida trip. I can’t continue to keep coming here!!

I’m tired, uncomfortable, bored to death, and I’m really sick of driving in that stressful rush hour traffic everyday. It’s like a death trap because there is always someone pulling some life threatening stunt. Man, I never seen so many people pull as many accident prone traffic violations in my life.

One time I was in the left turn lane and when the left turn signal came on I began to turn. Do you know some dumb bitch in a van from the lane on my right had the nerve to pull out in front of me while I was in the middle of my turn to make a left turn from the right lane? Where is the cops when you need them?

I guess I have no choice, but to do the training program longer. It’s the only way I can continue to receive an income while I am pregnant and recovering from delivering my baby.

I had a really fucked up day today.

It’s been fucked up from the beginning and I feel so stupid and used.

Fuck.

I can’t even cry I’m just so disappointed in myself because I know I’m smarter than that and I already knew the deal.

Honestly, I’m more angry than hurt because I’m so sick of the fucking lies. I can’t hurt anymore, but I can get fed up and tired and that’s the point I’ve reached…

I’m fuckin fed up! I had it! No more!

Today was fucked up.

Maybe tomorrow it’ll be better cause today sucked.

I guess it’s about time for that update huh?

Well for starters today was a pretty busy day. I had all these doctor appointments and other types of things to take care of. I took Elijah to look at a puppy so I can get an idea of the costs and the place we went was charging $899 for the puppy. I can get a puppy from a private owner for about $150-$300. That’s way to much. If I spend money like that I will be buying that Egyptian Mau that I want which is a beautiful cat native to Egypt.

After Elijah’s dental appointment I got him a new toy and bought Destin one too from Toy’s ‘R’ Us. I then went to my Mom’s and watched a movie until Jea’neene called me and said she fainted and was being rushed to the hospital. Come to find out she was dehydrated because she doesn’t drink water. So after scolding her about talking care of herself since I knew no one else would, I drove her car home and picked my car up to come home.

We’ll I gotta go eat dinner and get ready for bed. I have to get an echo cardiogram tomorrow for my heart murmur to see if I need to be premedicated while in labor.

Today I had to do a lot of editing posts within my blog because for some reason these weird characters like this showed up in the place of ” ‘ “, “…”, and spaces:

�
’
…a

Today I did August 2006-October 2006. Tomorrow I will do 3 more months, then Saturday, and then I’ll finish the last two on Monday.

I can’t wait until my work adjustment program is over because it’s so boring and on top of that I’ve more tired than usual. I just want to stay at home and rest so I can get ready for the new baby. Next weekend I’m going to repaint the apartment walls so we can have that done before moving.

I can’t wait to move to Florida too! I’ve already sent in my security deposit so I’m waiting for the lease to sign. I’m going to give them a call tomorrow or Monday to see if they’ve received my payment. It’s so many receptionist jobs down there compared to here which aren’t very many at all. I can’t wait to go. All I need is $3000 and I’m good to go!

Added at 7:29pm

I just found out how to delete the characters by editing a file. I had to delete the following lines from my wordpress wp-config file:


define('DB_CHARSET', 'utf8');
define('DB_COLLATE', '');


That was easy and saved me a lot of aggervation and time.

Last night I had the weirdest most terrible 2 dreams ever!

The first dream I had was really weird. I don’t remember how it began, but some kind of way I was transported to the past to change things that happened. The only catch was that I would have to remain there and even though I changed the past I would remember everything that happened, making me the only one with all the burdens and no one to talk to about them. In the dream when I was in the past, I only had one child which was Elijah. I was with Jeremy getting ready to get married and my Mom and the rest of my family was happy, but I wasn’t happy at all. Even though everyone was happy I was miserable and I wanted to give it all up and go back to the present. I started crying and saying I didn’t want it and I wanted to go back. I then woke up in the middle of the night.

The next dream was the terrifying one. Some kind of way my whole family and I lived in Florida, but the house was the same and it was snowing outside. There were also weird creatures outside that fed on humans! One creature looked somewhat like a overgrown wolf cross kangaroo with big sharp teeth.

I remember standing at the side door and the creature started roaring and trying to get in. My sister and someone else (possibly my little brother) ran to the door and held it shut while screaming to scare the beast away. Two more creatures decided to attack and try to get in. One beast I distinctly remember was half woman, half wolf or some other kind of beast. I really couldn’t tell. Her head was like a woman, but her body was like a beast and she stood on her hind legs and could speak. She threatened that even though she was forbidden to come into the house because it was some law she had to follow, if me and my siblings didn’t leave the door she would come in anyway and eat me. I was frightened for me as well as the baby I carried so we all left the door.

Later my Mom wanted to BBQ outside (remember it’s snowing out). I told her not to because the beasts that fed on humans were out there and I took the meat from her. I told her to just cook in the stove for now and when Summer comes the beasts should leave. I then told her I was going to call Alex since he lived in Florida and would know how to get rid of the beasts.

Later I heard someone banging on the back door. My Mom claimed it was someone to see her about a book she wrote. I didn’t trust that and I knew there was a strong possibility that it was one of the beasts trying to get in. I told her no do not open it, but she kept repeating “My book, my book.” She wouldn’t listen to me as usual. I ran upstairs to get my Dad and he ran down stairs, but it was too late. She opened the door and the beasts came in, beat her to death and dragged her out to eat her. My Dad watched in horror while I stood on the steps horrified by the sounds of my Mom being killed. I didn’t see her being killed, but I could hear it.

After the beasts left I started screaming how I told her not to open the door and she wouldn’t listen. I was so upset and tears were pouring down my face. I grabbed Destin and sat in a corner and cried while holding him in my arms. Destin was also screaming and crying. I then woke up and the terror was over.

I wonder what these dreams mean? I don’t have my dream book since I’m at work so I’ll decipher these weird disturbing dreams later.

Today I watermarked all my original graphics on the Strawberry Web Builder. I’ve been so worried about my original artwork being stolen so I added a “Sweet Vanilla Sugar” watermark to all my graphics. Hopefully no one has already stolen some of the graphics, but since I’ve been adding a lot if graphic tutorials this month using my original artwork, I felt I needed to protect them. I worked so hard on those graphics and I don’t want anyone stealing them and passing them off as their own.

At work I had to run the front desk all morning because the receptionist is going to be out all week so this will give me a lot of hands on experience. I learned how to work the multi-line phone which was fairly easy, but man was it boring! I was bored out of my mind! I sat their and finished all my Skills Tutor lessons and answered the phone calls which weren’t many. I then surfed the net the rest of the time because I was so bored.

When I went back to the classroom I worked on my typing which is up to 37 wpm and then I tried to complete my business writing assignment, but the printer didn’t work so I couldn’t do that. I’m finished with all my training modules so again I was bored. Who wants to work on Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing for 4 and a half hours?! Not me. I couldn’t wait to leave. I told Christine I was bored so she gave me some assignments to create for new students which isn’t hard so I started doing that to pass time.

I can’t wait until I’m done with this training program now. I have until July 6th and I’ll be finished. It’s not much to do. During the day we are suppose to work on typing for 40 minutes, work on computer modules (Finished them all), work on SkillsTutor (Finished them all), work on computer assignments (Finished them all), work on retypes (only 3 more to do), and work on business writing.

Man these last 3 weeks are going to be a real drag.

Today I’m going to pack a nice lunch and go to the park with the boys. I’m going to buy my Dad a Father’s day gift while I’m out getting the picnic food. My Dad likes certain sweets that aren’t bad for him so I’m going to get him a:

• A father’s day card
• A pack of Twizzlers
• A box of Fig Neutons
• Something else he likes, but right now I don’t remember…

It’s not much, but I’d rather get something he’d like than to go spend a lot of money on an outfit or some jewelry that he won’t wear.

Today I have a lot of things to take care of along with going to work. I have to get a $250 money order and send it to Florida to have my apartment held for October 1st, I have to send my release form and copies of some documents to Legal Aid, relax my hair and clean up the house again.

I can’t wait until I finish training and move to Florida so I can get a nice administrative assistant job with benefits. That’s really important to me so I can have health insurance for me and the boys without having to rely on the government and sorry ass caseworkers to do their job.

My plan is to first get a job in like a hotel or something when I first move so I’ll have an income and while I’m working there look for a job as a receptionist in an office. I also listed my ideal job so which is:

• Pays $350+ a week
• Full time day time hours only 9-5pm
• In an office setting were I can apply my skills
• Has health insurance benefits
• Clerical work

If I can find a job like that I will be happy. I can then pursue my career advancement by signing up for some classes later in the year.

Oh, by the way… I can type 40 wpm now, but my average is 32 wpm. Only 8 more words faster and I’ll be typing at my average goal. All I need is more practice!

So today I will share some of the snap shots I got in Florida. I didn’t get to go to the beach and get pictures which sucks, but I didn’t visit Florida for fun, I visited Florida to take of important business. I’ll get some pictures of the beach in October, when I move.

Here’s a few pictures of the lovely Florida, I’ll be adding a page with all my Florida pictures for your viewing pleasure later this week:

One of the pools at my hotel.

Beautiful palm trees in a clear blue sky.

“Without Walls International Church” 7pm service.

A cute little gecko. (These things are everywhere.)

God’s Promise…a beautiful rainbow after the storm draped over Florida. (View the entire rainbow on my Florida Trip page later this week)

That’s all the pictures I’m sharing for now. I’ll add all of the pictures I took to my Florida Trip page later.

I am finally home and I am so glad to be home!

For some reason that flight wasn’t that bad…

Now that I think about it I believe I had a panic attack on Tuesday. I mean I had all the signs:

When I was in line getting ready to board the plane I started feeling light-headed. I felt light-headed the entire flight and I was short of breath. I thought it was because of the airplane and being at a different altitude, but when I rode the plane today my breathing was fine and I wasn’t light-headed at all because I was more relaxed and so focused on getting home.

So yeah I had a panic attack.

Well, I’m going to bed. I’m exhausted and I have my 2 boys to tend to. Goodnight.