My flight has been delayed due to the weather so now I have to be stuck in Florida until 8:30pm. I really miss Elijah and Destin and I want to go home!

It’s so boring sitting in this airport hour after hour. I’ve been here since around 5pm and now I have to be here for another 2 hours.

I just want to go home and look, hold, and kiss my sons. I want to eat a home cooked meal and go to bed.

Yesterday I went to a church known as “Without Walls International Church”. It was pretty exciting and one of the biggest churches I’ve ever been to. I had a really nice time there and service was really spiritual. I had to leave a little after the sermon because I had to walk to my hotel and I didn’t want to be walking back real late. That was a nice way to end my week.

This morning around 10:30am, I called one of the apartments to give the lady the hotel number to call me and she said I was already approved and needed to give her a $250 deposit to hold the apartment. When I heard that news I almost cried. I was so ecstatic that all this wasn’t for nothing and my new life has started to begin. I called my Mom and told her the news and talked to her for a while.

I can’t wait to go home though. I really miss Elijah and Destin. I miss home cooked meals, I even miss Jeremy a bit. I tried to move my flight to an earlier time, but because it was 11:34am when I called it was too late to catch the 12:30pm flight and the next flight is my flight, which leaves at 6:55pm. My Mom said it’s suppose to storm in Ohio later so that’s why I wanted to leave early, plus I have to check out at 12pm and I will have to find something to do for the next 5-6 hours before it’s time to go to the airport.

Well, today I was going to catch the bus to a few apartments because Alex kept taking me to apartments in South Florida which are expensive for my income. When I was heading for the door he called and offered to take to the apartments I wanted to go to.

I applied at 2 apartments that are based on my income. One has a $25 application fee and the other had a $50 fee. I got approved for the one yesterday, but it’s way 2 much ($698/monthly) and it sucks. These apartments are $543-$579 a month, with a playground, swimming pool, fitness center, etc. They are located in a nice neighborhood for me and the kids. As soon as I am approved Step 1 is completed and on to Step 2: Saving enough to move: $4000. Then Step 3: Finding a job in Florida (Very easy step).

They are hiring everywhere out here at it’s not hard to find a job anywhere here.

So I didn’t get a rental car yesterday and I thought it was the end of the world. I almost started crying because I was so tired of nothing happening for me, but for some reason I decided it was for the best. I mean I saved a lot of money without one and I will just pay $3.25 for an all day bus pass. Hey, the weather is nice so I don’t have to worry about being miserable because of cold weather.

When the complimentary van came to get me from the airport the driver and I talked and he decided to help me get a job and a place to stay. I would not have met him if I got a rental car, so I guess God worked everything out and turned a bad into a good once again.

It’s so many job opportunites out here and the gas in like 40 cent cheaper. Gas here is $2.99 a gallon for regular, but gas in Ohio is like $3.46 a gallon. I have to get my money together so I can move.

So far I’ve completed one application, but man, the rent is $698/month! The cheap apartments are located in Lakeland Florida, but Alex (the driver) claims that Lakeland is racists and I don’t want my children subjected to racism. I don’t teach them that and I won’t have them going through that, we’ve already been through enough.

Well, we are about to land and I am so happy it’s almost over. Man, that went quick.

The pilot said it’s 82 degrees in Florida, which beat’s Ohio’s 65 degree temperature.

God, let this be a safe landing…

We’ve landed safely at 11:05am.

That was the scariest ride of my life and my stomach is a mess!!

Man, I don’t feel well at all…

I can see above the clouds which is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Too bad I can’t use my digital camera to take a picture, but I feel extremely light-headed. I can see all the little cities from up here. It reminds me of the Sim City game, just with clouds…Heh Heh.

I gotta admit I was praying hard during take off because I am so scared.

After moving to Florida and getting the boys by plane, I’m not really sure about flying anymore.

It’s 8:44am and I’m in my seat by the window feeling extremely light-headed after all the craziness of boarding. I had to remove even my shoes to be checked (YUCK). No telling how many people have walked on that floor and what kind of foot infections they may have.

I then had my bottle of unopened FIGI water confiscated which sucked, so I had to purchase some off brand water from a Cinnabon stand in the food court.

I’m so nervous and I’ve left my car insurance at home so now I’m not sure if I can get a rental car. I hope I can because I’m going to be shit out of luck…Oh God, were moving.

Please God let this flight be safe. My life is in your hands now.

Today I have so much stuff to do: I have to look at some more apartments so I can have more apartments to look at. I have to call the apartments I plan on going to, I have to finish packing, buy some last minute items, email my resume and print out copies to take with me, make sure I have enough money, and try to enjoy my day. I’ve already changed my seating on the airplane so now I will be sitting right behind first class.

So far I have a total of 9 different apartments to view all in the same area with 2 bedrooms ranging from $290-$525 a month. Some have $300 security deposits. I really hope I can get approved for an apartment and have the money to move by October 1st. I’ve been doing everything in my power to get the money: filling out loan applications, saving extra money monthly, setting up a donation site, searching for grants, etc. What else can I really do to get the money when I have no help?

We’ll I need to finish packing so I can clean myself up and get some sleep. Tomorrows a busy day for me.

Say a prayer for me.

Well it’s only one day left till I go on that plane ride that I am so fearful about to Florida…

[sigh]

I really hoped I could enjoy this weekend before leaving, but every single weekend Jeremy has managed to destroy it and cause me to be miserable. Next weekend I will spending it alone or with someone worthwhile so I can go back to work in a better mood.

Speaking of work, BWC is not even going to pay me while I’m gone. So I’ll be getting a measly $365 check if that for next week. I was going to go in tomorrow, but what for? They won’t be paying me for it. Instead I can use tomorrow for packing, getting last minute items, spending it with my boys, looking at some more apartments, and making up for this miserable weekend before I leave.

I’m going to have my sister drop me off at the airport…

Reminder: Call continental to get preferred seating.

I’ll remember to take lots of pictures of the airport, my airplane, and Florida. I might stop by the beach while I’m there since I’ve never been on a real beach before. I hope everything goes well and I get approved for an apartment. If I can get approved then all I’ll have to worry about is getting a job and the extra $2000 I need to move. I don’t think the job situation will be a problem, it’s the apartment approval and extra 2 grand that I’m worried about.

I just hope for once life will give me a break and God will bless me in this area.

Today I’m going to buy the few things needed for my trip to Florida and start packing. I’m also having company over around 12:30pm to help me with some things before I leave, which I hope will work out, so I have to clean up a bit so my home will look decent.

I’ll just hang out with them today and focus on other things this weekend. I want to actually enjoy my weekend for once instead of having it ruined by you know who. He ruined every weekend I’ve had and yesterday pulled something once again to try to make me miserable. I want to be happy and he is not giving me the things that I need. I feel if you are with someone and the majority of the time you are with them they make you feel terrible then it’s time to look else where. In a relationship needs are suppose to be met both physically and emotionally. Neither of my needs are ever met, he’s like a sickly tree with ragged branches that I can’t used to make furniture with, but I’m in desperate need of furniture. On stormy nights and windy days the tree’s boughs crash into my house ripping open my roof causing damage to my home and causing me to suffer.

It’s time to find a new tree…

I deleted Sam’s Manga yesterday because I had not time for the site, with working on my other sites, work, my family, and moving to Florida. I stated that one big mistake for web designers is out dated content on the Strawberry Web Builder’s Top 20 Web-design Mistakes, and I hadn’t worked on or updated Sam’s Manga in almost 6 months. It’s too much work drawing pictures, inking them, scanning them, and then coloring them. It’s not like I have a whole team like Neopets.com or some other site with plenty of graphics. So I decided to find a way to use my original graphics on the Strawberry Web Builder within the graphics tutorials so I can still get some exposure.

I want to add a new site, but it would have to be an interesting, low maintenance site. I just don’t have any ideas right now and I do not do fan sites. I’m not obsessed with anyone.

Last night I had some weird dream about my sick ass cousin. You know, the one that forbade to come to my house or call ’cause his sick ass stated he would watch pornos with my kids and he said all this other immoral stuff and claimed this was what God was teaching him.

I had a dream he molested my cousin on my Mom’s side of the family whom was only like 5 or 6 years old in my dream. I was afraid he had done it to Elijah too, but thankfully he didn’t. I was so angry that I started beating the hell out of him. My ultimate goal was to beat him to death. I remember I was in someones backyard screaming at my cousin trying to get him to admit he was raped, but he kept saying it was consensual. I then went to my cousin whom raped him and beat him to a pulp. I kept punching him in the face and I remember his eye had started swelling up and was red. I then threw him in my trunk and drove to my Moms house with him. When I got there my parents came out and I was in so much of a rage about the whole situation I started jumping up and down screaming. I wanted my cousin dead. So I opened the trunk and began to beat him again. The police were called and I told them what happened and they arrested my cousin. My cousin while in cuffs started to talk mess to me and I remember saying “You are lucky you are going to jail because I was going to kill you.”

Then the dream was over.