Last night I had the weirdest dream ever. I can’t quite remember where the dream began, but I remember I was with a group of people and we were confessing our sins so we can start living the way God commands. After people confessed their sins I remember the man whom was leading this experience asking for people that wanted to do God’s work…I guess to evangelize people. He would touch there hands which told him if that particular person had a special anointing, then he laid hands on them saying a special prayer, but I can’t remember the words of the prayer at all.

The people fell to the ground when he touched them and we they came to their feet. He then asked more of us to let him check our hands too and when he checked mine he said for me to sit down because I was somehow really special. After he laid hands on me he came over to me and looked at me saying that I was “crowning”. The weird thing about this was I could see a light radiating from my head. He then asked me to stand up and he laid hands on me. When I fell back it was like I glided slowly to the ground and landed on a bed of soft feathers. Everything around me lit up while I laid on the ground. It almost seemed like I wasn’t in the same room with them anymore.

When the man tried to get me up he couldn’t because I was drunken with the spirit. After a while he helped me to my feet and claimed that maybe I was “crowing” because I love God more than anyone else there. I then told him that my mother’s pastor told me God has work for me and that’s why Satan has been trying to kill me all my life. We were going to wait for him so maybe could help me figure out what I’m suppose to do, but I ended up leaving with my sister. I then woke up.

This dream was really weird, but I have no idea what it means.

Well today I was reading a really interesting blog today by a woman name Penelope Trunk. She usually writes blogs that are career and family related. Today I read a few of her entries with one being about linking in your blog entries which I don’t think is a bad idea so I may start doing that too. She also had one interesting blog about how having Christmas off isn’t supporting diversity in the work place because it’s a Christian holiday and everyone of course are not Christian. She also illustrated the points on how we get this day off and other religious (non-Christian) holidays are neglected. After reading all the so-called Christians defensive remarks which were sometimes even abusive I posted my own comment supporting her opinion because I do not celebrate Christmas either after finding out what the actual true origin of Christmas really is and to be subjected by the foolishness of this holiday can be quite bothersome. Surprisingly I did find another person whom admitted to being Christian stating that they do not celebrate Christmas either probably for the same reasons I don’t. Ironically someone whom announced they were pagan stated how much the holiday irritates them when in fact the holiday is of pagan origin!

I may get a lot of mixed opinions about this subject and feel free to give me your opinion if you wish.

An interesting message I received from a friend on Facebook:

A college professor asked the students in class to correctly punctuate this phrase:

“A woman without her man is nothing”

All the males in the class wrote: “A woman, without her man, is nothing.”

All the females wrote: “A woman: without her, man is nothing.”

Punctuation is powerful!

Well I have to go get dinner prepared.

I’ve come to realize that no matter where you work there is always going to be that one person that you just don’t like very much. When I started working I tried to be positive in every aspect as a employee because I have to admit I do love my job, but Friday I found out who that person was going to be.

My day was going so lovely because it’s been really slow for sales due to the holiday so I occupied my time by reading blogs to get blogging ideas, setting up a new blog for Sarasota, and designing a new template for out blog for the new year.

I was also put in charge of getting the Job Fair ad in this weeks paper. My boss wanted the ad to be creative and different from the others so since our Job Fair is going to be in January I figured a New Years Celebration theme would be just right.

I needed to put the order in with production to get the ad created, but my boss advised me to send them an example because according to him no matter how many times he asks them to be creative they just don’t unless I send an example.

Knowing this I put the order in and sent the production manager a copy of a banner I threw together on Photoshop to use as an example of the color scheme and theme I wanted…”New Years Celebration.” I asked him to use the colors and the theme and come up with something awesome and creative because I knew my banner wasn’t the greatest. Two days later I get back an ad that is boring, green and orange…Yuck. This was nothing like I asked. The banner I sent them was red, white, and blue.

When I sent it to my boss and told him my opinion of how it looked sending him my banner as well he agreed. I forwarded our emails to the production manager hoping that they would do the ad how I asked. Twenty minutes later the production manager comes to my desk and insults my banner claiming it was “clip art” and stating how “unimpressive” it was to him. He was absolutely rude and disrespectful to me. He obviously didn’t care about what I asked for and just wanted to do it his way.

I guess I misjudged his potential thinking he was really creative because he’s the production manager…my bad.

One of my colleagues witnessed this and asked me was I ok. He told me that’s just the way he is sometimes. I really didn’t care because I don’t go to work to be disrespected by anyone.

Ten minutes later the production manager calls me telling me that if I need changes for ads to email him and not the other graphic artists. My response: “Um Hmm.” Then I hang up. He calls again to tell me my phone says “Empty Desk”. Like I really care about that right now…is there something else you want to say?

I was really angry. I felt great until he came with his negative energy and just drained me. I actually felt like there was a weight sitting on the back of my neck and on my forehead. I could feel the energy and it didn’t feel good at all. I tried breathing it away, but nothing worked.

Since I was able to leave early to get the boys I went to pick them up which gave me time to cool down and collect my thoughts. I then wrote him a email where I professionally “checked” him:

I would’ve addressed you earlier about this, but I had to cool off because I do not elect to be immature, but to retain professionalism.

First off I never asked you to use that banner as the job fair ad. I merely asked that you use the colors and theme (New Year Celebration). I even said myself that that banner wasn’t that great in the email I sent you because I threw it together on Photoshop and as a web designer I do know what looks good and what doesn’t. As far as the ad is to be concerned it would’ve been better to discuss how it should look rather than for you to come to me in such an unprofessional manner.

I am a respectful person and I give respect to everyone I come in contact with. With that said I expect to have respect given back to me a well. I never insulted you, but not only did you insult me when I tried to explain to you what I wanted you brushed me off like my opinion didn’t matter when in fact in does because [Name Removed] is whom put in me charge of this project.

Maybe you are stressed because of the holiday and deadline and I fully understand, but I won’t tolerate the disrespect. I don’t know how you speak to everyone else at the office, but as far as I’m concerned I will appreciate it if you show me respect anytime we communicate which is most effective.

I hope you have a nice weekend. Hopefully the next time we talk there won’t be any negative energy present.

Samara

I think it’s important to nip it in the bud from the beginning. I don’t care how he talks to everyone else, but as far as I’m concerned he better respect me.

The next 3 weeks is going to be hectic. The kids have to go to daycare and I have to get Elijah enrolled in this new school which is extremely difficult because I have to be at work at 8:30am. How will I be able to sign him up? Hopefully the school will be open tomorrow at 7:30am. I have to order Elijah a new birth certificate too because for some reason I can’t seem to find his.

I paid my bills, but I still wasn’t able to pay everything. Now I have to pay daycare for 3 weeks until Jeremy gets his first paycheck…That’s going to really suck. I only have about $444 in the bank and $20 for next weeks gas. The daycare lady reduced the payments to $125 a week for me which means I have to pay $375 leaving me only $69 for the next 2 weeks. (Where the hell is my daycare voucher? I’ve been on the waiting list since October!) Jeremy said he can give me $100. Well it will only be for 3 weeks and then after that everything will begin to fall into place.

My post basically says it all. I can’t wait until Friday. I have a quarter tank of gas left to get to and from work and no money. I’ll be so glad when I get paid so I can pay my bills, put gas in the car, pay my hostgator bill, buy Elijah some school clothes, and wash clothes. I’m really burnt out…especially when you’ve been working for 3 weeks and haven’t seen a dime. I’ve never been this damn broke. I need to start promoting Eden’s Garden so I can start making some money on the side. 1-2 websites a month would bring in an extra $400 for me and that would help out a lot. I just need to find some free ways to promote my business so I won’t lose money, but gain it.

Man, I haven’t written in my blog all week and that is just not good. I’m still in the process of trying to get everything settled to an everyday routine. I’m at work all day and when I come home I fix dinner get bathed and go to bed. I’m always too tired to do anything else, but I should at least make time to update my blog on a daily basis. So for now on I’m making an oath to write in my blog at least 4 times a week.

I am so glad it’s Friday. This weekend I’m going to try to get some rest before going back to work.

I went to Orlando this on Tuesday and I hated it. The only thing I liked about the whole trip was the delicious French onion soup I ate from a place called the Tavern and the big huge bathtub/whirlpool.

I learned a lot from the Internet Specialist there, but I don’t like it there at all. I wanted to go home so bad. I had to call home and I probably talked to Jeremy a total of 30 minutes and the hotel charged an outrageous $98 for the phone calls! What a rip off!

I’ve been looking for a stylist too and I talked to one lady when I went to buy the phytorelaxer. I voiced my wishes about cutting my hair and then she said she would clip my ends and get my hair to growing…huh? Since when did cutting hair make hair grow? Then yesterday I was walking into the grocery store and some girl gave me her flier. I told her about my concern with cutting my hair and then she said the most insane thing to me. She said she was going to cut my hair every two weeks. Now what sense does that make? Hair grows 1/2 inch a month and you plan on cutting it every two weeks? Messing with that woman I will end up with shorter hair. It’s like she ignored everything I said. I guess it’s best for me to just do my own hair.

Well I’m about to start on my 2-days of no work and relaxation. Hopefully and the boys will give me a break this weekend.

Man this week went by so fast. It seems like I didn’t get any rest either. I’m either doing for the kids or getting nagged by Jeremy for every little thing. When I start getting paid I’m going to go to the spa at least once a month to get a facial and my hair done ALONE! I’m really in need of some “me” time.

I’m either at work all day, or driving in rush hour traffic, or fixing breakfast or dinner, yelling at the boys, caring for Jeremiah or listening to complain. Yesterday I couldn’t even wash my hair in peace.

Why is it when you do things for people they never recognize it? I busted my ass to move here and get a good job. I bought what I could buy for the house. I’ve been struggling to make sure my sons have health insurance. I buy food and cook dinner. I fix breakfast in the morning and I try to make sure that even after all that I still look my best for Jeremy (Given the fact that I just had a baby 3 months ago]. I’m not given the least bit of credit, but I’m constantly told what I don’t do and what I did in the past.

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I had to vent because life at home has not been all that lately. Especially since I started this new job. Well I have to be up at 5am tomorrow because has yet again another “working interview” and the boys have to dropped off at daycare. Traffic is bad anyways in Florida, but the daycare is located off of a street where they are doing construction so it’s only a 1 lane street meaning bumper to bumper there and back during rush hour. Tomorrow is not going to be an easy day for me.