Today I’m trying to finish up on a lot of the things regarding this apartment so it won’t be much to do when it’s time to move out. I really want to get these walls finished by this weekend so that will be one less thing to do. Painting the walls back is the biggest project. Other than that I’ve been packing things little by little and throwing stuff out that I no longer need or want. I hate have extra clutter around that I don’t use taking up space.

I’ve still been saving as much as I can so I can have at least $3500 before moving in October. The actually day I will be out is September 31st to be exact.

In September I’ll start with the spot cleaning and deodorizing of the carpet, cleaning the stove and fridge out again, and sweeping, moping, and wiping down surfaces.

It seems like I’m cleaning this stupid apartment everyday and then the next day there’s still more to clean. These kids have really done this place a job with all the crumbs and scraps of paper. Well actually the one solely responsible for all that is Destin. All the crumbs and carpet stains that I have to clean up were all done by him. He’s really a handful. Destin makes you not want any more kids. He’s like 15 kids in one.

Had a dream about horses last night. One was beautiful with a blond mane and she was brown and white. The other one was bronze with a jet black mane. Both horses was given to me for free and I was hoping to get one more to give to Destin since the white and brown one was mine and the bronze one was Elijah’s. I wonder what that dream meant?

A few nights ago I also had a dream about a German shepherd dog that was pretty vicious and was trying to attack me, but then later became fond of me and I couldn’t keep the dog away. When I was growing up I used to play with a German shepherd everyday named “Boom Boom” so I don’t know what that dream meant either.

Last night I had the weirdest most terrible 2 dreams ever!

The first dream I had was really weird. I don’t remember how it began, but some kind of way I was transported to the past to change things that happened. The only catch was that I would have to remain there and even though I changed the past I would remember everything that happened, making me the only one with all the burdens and no one to talk to about them. In the dream when I was in the past, I only had one child which was Elijah. I was with Jeremy getting ready to get married and my Mom and the rest of my family was happy, but I wasn’t happy at all. Even though everyone was happy I was miserable and I wanted to give it all up and go back to the present. I started crying and saying I didn’t want it and I wanted to go back. I then woke up in the middle of the night.

The next dream was the terrifying one. Some kind of way my whole family and I lived in Florida, but the house was the same and it was snowing outside. There were also weird creatures outside that fed on humans! One creature looked somewhat like a overgrown wolf cross kangaroo with big sharp teeth.

I remember standing at the side door and the creature started roaring and trying to get in. My sister and someone else (possibly my little brother) ran to the door and held it shut while screaming to scare the beast away. Two more creatures decided to attack and try to get in. One beast I distinctly remember was half woman, half wolf or some other kind of beast. I really couldn’t tell. Her head was like a woman, but her body was like a beast and she stood on her hind legs and could speak. She threatened that even though she was forbidden to come into the house because it was some law she had to follow, if me and my siblings didn’t leave the door she would come in anyway and eat me. I was frightened for me as well as the baby I carried so we all left the door.

Later my Mom wanted to BBQ outside (remember it’s snowing out). I told her not to because the beasts that fed on humans were out there and I took the meat from her. I told her to just cook in the stove for now and when Summer comes the beasts should leave. I then told her I was going to call Alex since he lived in Florida and would know how to get rid of the beasts.

Later I heard someone banging on the back door. My Mom claimed it was someone to see her about a book she wrote. I didn’t trust that and I knew there was a strong possibility that it was one of the beasts trying to get in. I told her no do not open it, but she kept repeating “My book, my book.” She wouldn’t listen to me as usual. I ran upstairs to get my Dad and he ran down stairs, but it was too late. She opened the door and the beasts came in, beat her to death and dragged her out to eat her. My Dad watched in horror while I stood on the steps horrified by the sounds of my Mom being killed. I didn’t see her being killed, but I could hear it.

After the beasts left I started screaming how I told her not to open the door and she wouldn’t listen. I was so upset and tears were pouring down my face. I grabbed Destin and sat in a corner and cried while holding him in my arms. Destin was also screaming and crying. I then woke up and the terror was over.

I wonder what these dreams mean? I don’t have my dream book since I’m at work so I’ll decipher these weird disturbing dreams later.

Today I’m going to buy the few things needed for my trip to Florida and start packing. I’m also having company over around 12:30pm to help me with some things before I leave, which I hope will work out, so I have to clean up a bit so my home will look decent.

I’ll just hang out with them today and focus on other things this weekend. I want to actually enjoy my weekend for once instead of having it ruined by you know who. He ruined every weekend I’ve had and yesterday pulled something once again to try to make me miserable. I want to be happy and he is not giving me the things that I need. I feel if you are with someone and the majority of the time you are with them they make you feel terrible then it’s time to look else where. In a relationship needs are suppose to be met both physically and emotionally. Neither of my needs are ever met, he’s like a sickly tree with ragged branches that I can’t used to make furniture with, but I’m in desperate need of furniture. On stormy nights and windy days the tree’s boughs crash into my house ripping open my roof causing damage to my home and causing me to suffer.

It’s time to find a new tree…

I deleted Sam’s Manga yesterday because I had not time for the site, with working on my other sites, work, my family, and moving to Florida. I stated that one big mistake for web designers is out dated content on the Strawberry Web Builder’s Top 20 Web-design Mistakes, and I hadn’t worked on or updated Sam’s Manga in almost 6 months. It’s too much work drawing pictures, inking them, scanning them, and then coloring them. It’s not like I have a whole team like Neopets.com or some other site with plenty of graphics. So I decided to find a way to use my original graphics on the Strawberry Web Builder within the graphics tutorials so I can still get some exposure.

I want to add a new site, but it would have to be an interesting, low maintenance site. I just don’t have any ideas right now and I do not do fan sites. I’m not obsessed with anyone.

Last night I had some weird dream about my sick ass cousin. You know, the one that forbade to come to my house or call ’cause his sick ass stated he would watch pornos with my kids and he said all this other immoral stuff and claimed this was what God was teaching him.

I had a dream he molested my cousin on my Mom’s side of the family whom was only like 5 or 6 years old in my dream. I was afraid he had done it to Elijah too, but thankfully he didn’t. I was so angry that I started beating the hell out of him. My ultimate goal was to beat him to death. I remember I was in someones backyard screaming at my cousin trying to get him to admit he was raped, but he kept saying it was consensual. I then went to my cousin whom raped him and beat him to a pulp. I kept punching him in the face and I remember his eye had started swelling up and was red. I then threw him in my trunk and drove to my Moms house with him. When I got there my parents came out and I was in so much of a rage about the whole situation I started jumping up and down screaming. I wanted my cousin dead. So I opened the trunk and began to beat him again. The police were called and I told them what happened and they arrested my cousin. My cousin while in cuffs started to talk mess to me and I remember saying “You are lucky you are going to jail because I was going to kill you.”

Then the dream was over.

Okay…I had a dream a few nights ago, but I forgot to post it so I’ll post what I remember from the dream today so I can analyze it. It must be of some importance since I haven’t forgot it yet.

The dream started off really weird so bare with me…

I was at my Moms house and for some reason she or someone else living there were breeding velicoraptors (if that’s the correct spelling)in her basement and the raptors were getting hostile. I think I told her to get rid of them because I didn’t want them to kill and eat her or my kids, but she didn’t listen. There were 2 guys in her home. One of them had a MRDD condition, but he was very strong. The normal guy asked the MRDD guy to help him tie down the raptors so they won’t break free from the basement. For some reason I left my Mom’s home in a panic, but came back and urged my Mom to leave or get rid of the raptors and this time she agreed, but she was going to take her sweet time. The next thing I know I remember getting Destin and Elijah and running to my car with the raptors in pursuit of us. I drove off while the raptors tried to break into the car to attack. I locked all the doors with the raptors still in pursuit of us. Then suddenly for some odd reason my car was in a jungle with the raptors still in pursuit. The ground started to shake and I looked behind me and I saw the largest scariest elephant I’d ever seen! The elephant was as tall as a sky scrapper and it was multi-colored. The elephant thrashed the raptors with it’s powerful tusk and a mighty force. My car spun into the side to avoid being trampled by the elephant when I noticed I had become an elephant myself! A peachy colored baby elephant. The mighty elephant looked at me and gave a bow as sort of an acceptance. That’s when I realized the elephant was actually rescueing me. It then went up to a smaller elephant which was rather large, but not as big as me and it was slightly injured. It gave it a headbutt like the football players do and then the two elephants walked in two different directions and that’s when I woke up.

So what did this dream mean? It was so weird, but it has to have some importance since I still haven’t forgot the dream. Let’s grab the symbols up first.

Moms House (House)-Person or Family: Individual; Church

or

Moms House (Old House)-Past: Inheritance, tradition

Velicoraptor (serpent/alligator)-Ancient/Curse: Evil from the past; demon; deception

Basement-Soul: Carnal nature; secret sin; forgotten

Car-Life: Person; ministry

Peachy-?

Elephant-Invincible: Not easily offended; powerful; large.

Baby Elephant: Potential for greatness (the beginning of something of something large)

So let’s see… The house could represent me as a person or my past and of coarse the raptors are demons or curses. The demons couldn’t be binded long by people who were weak…the normal man or spiritually flawed…the MRDD man. More likely the demons are demons that may be hidden in my soul from my past, but are then unleashed to attack me or my ministry because they attacked my car. As I try to escape the demons I am helped by someone whom is great and powerful…even invincible! The elephant could’ve been God himself because even though he was scary looking I wasn’t afraid, but content or it may represent someone whom is great and powerful spiritually. Who ever it maybe this person will help me when I am attacked. When I became the baby elephant I now know that I to have a potential for greatness and will become something great in time.

This dream may have already started to take place since after I had the dream I had hands layed on me or it’s yet to happen. Whatever the case maybe…I know that I will be helped along the way. It kind of ties with the last dream where demons/curses from my past are trying to interfere with my annointing. Maybe I need to talk to my Mom’s Pastor about it.

I had a dream last night…

I had a baby before Destin and Jeremy and I couldn’t afford to take care of the baby. We couldn’t get health insurance or afford baby formula and no one would help us. I didn’t even have breast milk to breastfeed the baby. I took the baby to the hospital for help because I didn’t want the baby to starve. They took the baby from me to care for it until I was able to take care of the baby and get her back.

The next scene the baby was at least 6 or 7 months old and I was financially stable and I visited the baby. She was so fat and healthy with light skin, but she looked so much like me. I wanted my baby back so I told Jeremy about the baby and for some reason it was like he didn’t know about the baby until I told him. I also said these exact words to my Mom “Instead of three grand children you have four.” Refering to my kids only.

I was looking through the yellow pages for Hillcrest Hospital to get the number to call to see how to get my baby back and my Dad asked me what I was doing. I was a little irritated by him so I gave him a brief answer and said “I’m looking for the number to Hillcrest Hospital.”

My Dad got mad because I didn’t tell him everything and started yelling at me. I got so frustrated with my Dad and not being able to find the number so I threw the phone book on the floor and started tussling with him and I had him in a head lock. I remember he flipped me off and wasn’t himself. I let him go and yelled at my Dad addressing him as Satan and calling him the antichrist in anger. I noticed that my Dad’s skin was suddenly covered in opened sores.

I went into the kitchen and my Dad fell to his knees and I was about to leave out the back door because I was just tired of the whole situation, but something said my Dad needed to be delivered so I turned around and told my Dad that a demon like you can’t look a man or woman of God in the face. I said some other things to glorify the annointing and highness of God and then I started praying in a form of a melody. I then asked Jeremy for some oil because I forgot my annointing oil and he gave me some oil in a green bottle to annoint my Dad. I started praying for the Holy Spirit to cosume us and enter the room. I asked the chains of bondage to be broken from my Dad and I asked the Holy Spirit to guide me in what to say and do so I could deliver my dad.

As I look at this dream over and over and meditate on it…I started meditating on it at 10am in the morning and then I feel asleep and had a dream I was singing “Yes Jesus Loves Me” pretty weird. I’ve been having several dreams where I am in constant prayer and sometimes I’m delivering individuals. Some of my dreams have even revealed curses that were placed on me, like one when my Dad allowed me to be bitten by a green snake and I started crying because I was very upset, but he thought it was funny. My Dad was satan, the snake was a curse and the color green means life, carnal etc.

God speaks to us in our dreams like he did in bibical times, but we must be able to discern what dreams are from God and what’s not. I read in a book called: “Understanding the Dreams you Dream” by Ira Milligan, which is a bibical based dream interpetation book. This book says God will visit you in the morning (Job 33:29)…and this dream took place in the early hours of the day because I woke up a bit after 9am from the dream. It also says the dream will usually line up with the word of God and that’s how you will know who it is from.

So let’s take a look at the dream symbols that I have highlighted and there meanings:

baby-New: Beginning;

hospital-Care: Church;

Mom-Source: Church;

three-Conform: obey; copy;

four-Reign: Rule; creation;

grand children (children)-Oneself or themselves: inherited blessing or inquity;

Dad-Authority: satan;

kitchen-Heart: ambition; intent

back door-Past: past sins or sins of my forefathers;

oil-Anointing: Holy Spirit anointing; healing;

green-Life: renewal;

Now the first scene of the dream I believe is that the baby is my annointing, but I cannot nuture my annointing myself and no one can help me, but a church. So I take the baby(my annointing/new beginning) to a hospital (church) and they nuture and nourish my baby (annointing/new beginning) until I am able to care for it myself. My annointing/new beginning is always there for me to touch and see, but I can’t fully obtain it because of a hinderance…

The next part is my Dad who represents Satan because of how I feel towards him. I have a geniune dislike for him and he attacks me verbally because he doesn’t want me to get or use/have the baby (annointing/new beginning). This is probably why I cannot find the number to the hospital because of his distraction so in frustration I fight him, but in the wrong manner (carnally). I get so angry and I decide to leave out the back door (my past). I guess I keep running back to my past instead of facing the problem. Or the problem could be a result of my past. Instead of running out the back door (my past) God tells me to handle the problem so I turn around and annoint my Dad whom is on his knees (now he represents repentance and submission because he is on his knees listening to me). I pray over him to break the chains of bondage from that sin and/or curse. This happened in the kitchen which represents my heart. The ambitions of my heart could also be deliverance from the curse.

The weridest thing is the comment to my Mom “Instead of three grand children you have four” Why would I or God say to the church “Instead of following tradition of oneself you need to reign”…?

After pondering this I looked up the words conform (to comply, conform to rules, or follow tradition) and reign (royal rule or authority; sovereignty.) which to me describes God. I believe God wants me to say these words to the church I attend or find a church that doesn’t follow the traditions of the world and/or church, but the exact instruction of the Lord. So the actual phrase is “Instead of following traditions of oneself you need to follow the exact instruction of the Heavenly Father.”

So now I know what God has said to me…now what?

I know what curse he speaks of because it’s a curse from my past and I know what ne means when he says I am handling the curse “carnally”. Writing my life story reveals the curse, but doesn’t break it. Only prayer, submission and deliverance can.

To me the dream also says I won’t ever have that “new beginning” if I don’t rid myself of the curse.

Wow. I haven’t written here in a while…

I’ve been so tired or stuck watching court TV like Judge Mathis, Judge Judy, Peoples court and the like. Yesterday Jeremy and I went to Bennihanans if that’s how you spell it for Valentines Day. It’s a rather expensive japanese restuarant where the food is cooked in front of you by your own personal chef for the night. Our meal came with Japanese onion soup, salad with homemade ginger dressing, shrimp, vegetables, steamed rice, moist chicken, Habachi steak, green tea and our choice of sherbet or ice cream to finish the meal off just right. I didn’t eat the shrimp because I know that it’s a sin since shrimp and other non-scale non-fin foods are forbidding. Jeremy didn’t eat it either. The salad’s dressing was pretty nasty. I’ve had ginger dressing at another Japanese restuarant and the dressing was delicious, but the dressing at Bennihanans was nasty. I ate half the salad anyways because I know the ginger would help curb any pesky stomach problems I would develop after eating due to my pregnancy. The chicken of coarse was juicy and delicious and so was the steak along with the homemade steak sauce served with it. I ate orange sherbet for dessert and that was also yummy. I really enjoyed our night together…

The food was delicious and watching it being cooked was pretty entertaining.

My book’s been coming along pretty well. I’ve gotten up to the part of my life where I met Jeremy at Medical School. I’ve read my book several times looking for typo’s, bad grammer or paragraphs that didn’t flow like water. So far so good. I might go back again to see if there are any memories left to unveil in my book. I do remember one I left out because it was basically the same thing just at a different time involving the same person when I was a child. I left it out because the first incident I wrote about illustrated the event and I felt like I didn’t need to repeat it. I might add it anyway, see how it flows and if it sound good then great. If not I’ll cut it out.

I’ve gotten past alot of buried memories that I’ve kept within myself and now that I’ve finally faced these memories I can now put them behind me and look to the future. Writing this book is a break through for me and has given me a chance to address alot of pain and bitterness inside. I’ve never cried for myself for the things I’ve been through, but for once in my life I let myself hurt and I cried for all the pain I have endured. I know this is only the beginning of the healing process and there is so much more pain to be felt and tears to be shed before I am finally restored.

Last night I also had a dream that was a bit disturbing…

I was at my Mom’s house and a girl from the so-called church Called to Conquer named Christina called me. I talked to her and she asked if she could come over and pray. I told her yes. When she arrived I told her I did need some assistance in prayer and deliverance because I was spiritually sick and didn’t have the strength to do it alone. She said okay, but she had papers with her from Called to Conquer to read. I told her “I don’t want nothing to do with that corrupted ministry. I asked for your help in prayer and nothing more.” I went in further to briefly explain my reasons for not wanting anything to do with her church. She then took the papers and balled them up, through them on the ground and respected how I felt.

While this was going on the birds were not acting right. They were swaming into a circular whirlpool like manner and swopping down and attacking people. I grabbed my son Elijah and put him in the house. I then had to help Christina in the house because they were attacking her. I kicked a bird off her shoulder and pulled her in the house. My Mom stayed outside gardening and the birds didn’t seem to bother her. I strictly forbidded Elijah from going outside and he did anyway. I went out to get him before the birds attacked him and told him again not to leave the house,again or go by the windows or doors.

My friend Kim then called and her and a boy named Tyrone came over to pray with us. I ended up putting Elijah in a highchair because he continued to be disobedient by going to the door. By then it was night and the sky was the blackest I ever seen with only a handful of stars. Alot of the stars in the sky were missing. I sat at the table and told everyone that we were all going to confess the things we’ve experienced in our lives and as each one of us told their story we would then pray over that person in a way the Holy Spirit guided us to do. Before we started I decided to start the session with a prayer.

For some reason Kim had left so It was only me, Christina, Tyronne and another girl whom I’ve never seen before. We held hands, closed our eyes and I started praying. When I got to the part where I said In Jesus Name I felt something come close to my face and bite me. I thought it was Tyrone, but I had a feeling it was a demon trying to intimidate me out of praying. I then shouted several times “in Jesus Name!” for the demon to release me and I woke up.

Pretty weird huh?

I’ve been under a very powerful satanic attack since the age of 5 and as soon as I was exposed to my calling I found that the satanic attacks came even more stronger. Everytime I try to get close to God and I’m on the right track, Satan attacks me with very powerful blows. He has attacked me using Jeremy and his Brother in the same exact way. A way that was beyond my control because I am but so strong physically. He then sent my own cousin to steer me the wrong way whom I told to leave because I discerned alot of corrupted spirits on him and I didn’t want him around me or my family anymore.

When I give up on God and don’t try to get close to him the attacks subside and nothing happens…life becomes normal. I have to find a way to fight this spiritual battle, but I have no way of knowing how when the people Satan uses are too strong for me to fight off. If only I knew someone whom is spiritually strong in the Lord who has the same annointing as me that is now matured and not corrupted. They could help me fight it or guide me into fighting it myself. I am not spiritually well and I need so much healing, renewal of my soul and deliverance. I know the source of the curse, but how do I overcome it?

Yesterday I would’ve finished my post, but Jeremy and I decided to go to Don Plabo’s yesterday for dinner. He wanted to drink an alcoholic beverage for the first time so I decided to get one too. I never had a Long Island Ice Tea so I ordered it to see what it was like. I’ve heard so many good things about that drink and when I went to Cedar Point this summer the people in the Adult Bubble pool were ordering eithier a Pina Colada (had that), or Long Island Ice Tea’s (never had…). I orderd some other drink when I was there that was really fruity, yummy and weak, but yesterday I got the Long Island Ice Tea which was sooooo NASTY. I drank it anyway because I knew the drink was expensive and man it really messed me up. I kept laughing when nothing was funny, I felt like I was in three places at once and I couldn’t even enjoy my food. I don’t even remember how my food tasted. So that sucks. I will never drink again…NEVER. For New Years I will enjoy a glass of sparkling grape juice when we toast the New year in.

….You know what, I’d rather pray the New Year in.

Last night I had two dreams. The first one was stupid so I’d rather not even share that dumb dream which only made me angry with my sister because what she did. The second dream I had I was at the zoo and Elijah was playing on the playground. I had Destin with me, but he was a bit younger than he is now. He was probably 5 or 6 months old in the dream. For some reason the lions were free to roam and one chased me and I ran on the playground to the top of it. I knew that the lion wanted to eat Destin. I started calling for Elijah and after constantly calling for him he came to me. I looked down and noticed the lion had picked up Destins scent and was pacing at the bottom of the playground for him. Then a female lion showed up and was starring at me. I looked over and saw a lady that worked at the Zoo at the playground and I asked her to help me. I told her about the lions trying to eat Destin and she refused to help me saying “I’m sorry there is nothing I can do”. I pleaded for her help screaming at the top of my lungs and she still refused to help. Then I discovered I wasn’t holding Destin so I started panicing because instead of Destin I was holding a stuffed animal! I was so scard that I had dropped him, when Elijah told me he had him. I took Destin from Elijah and held him in my arms. Suddenly some how the male lion had climbed up on the playground and was on the opposite side of the playground at the top. We was seperated from the lion by a tunnel. I held Destin close to me starring at the lion in terror. The lion jumped toward us trying to reach the side we were on, but it missed and fell to the ground. When it fell to the ground it turned into a big pile of a clear jelly-type substance. Then the female lion did the same thing and when she hit the ground she also turned into the substance. For some reason I knew it was God who saved me and I started giving God glory. Then I woke up.

I wonder what that dream meant? I really want to find out what that meant. I’m going to find out what it meant before the end of the week. I know that dream was important.

Today is a better day. I’m not angry anymore about the workers compensation problem, or others dumb opinion of my website and it’s content. Who cares what anyone thinks anymore. I know that everything in my website is original and I know that I will get my money so who cares…so what!

Today I got those end tables to go with my lamps. I’m glad I did. The apartment looks really nice now. I even got my own computer desk that took forever to assemble. So now I have more room and I don’t have to share the desk with Jeremy’s laptop. I can put my printer up now, but I still need to buy a scanner from Micro Center. I’ll get that later when I buy a mouse pen.

When I finally do get that mouse pen I can really work on Sam’s Manga and draw the pictures so they won’t look crappy. It’s really hard drawing with a mouse.

Well gotta go…an argument is brewing…

I had a dream last night that I was talking to someone, but I can’t remember if they were a man or woman. I’m leaning towards the person being male though. Anyways I remember them saying something like God gives everyone different gifts or God gives everyone a certain role to play…something like that. Like healing, spiritual warfare, etc. I said to him I believe my role is spiritual warfare. Then eithier I or they said that my Mom had the gift of healing. Pretty weird huh?

Well I gotta go wash my hair and take a shower. Jeremy and I may be going out and I want to be pretty…I’ll finish writing later.

I guess this week is my lucky week! Yesterday I got DSL and today I got a brand new COMPUTER! Yay! My first very own computer, bought and paid for with cold hard cash! Now I can work on my website without having to share my computer and at high speed too! Now Jeremy needs to get himself a computer. He has a laptop from Dell that is 2 years-old, which is what I was using to create my websites and everything. His laptop has had it. It’s time for him to get a new computer too! He blames me for his computer being old and not working properly. He said because I played Legend of Zelda on his old PC when we lived in Mentor (which he downloaded on his computer) that I broke it because some how the computer went into Power Save mode and we couldn’t get it out of Power Save mode. I didn’t break it. Now he has a 2 year-old laptop that Destin spilled milk on. That’s why I will never get a laptop; they are too easy to damage when you have kid’s. All it takes is for someone to spill something on it and that’s it…it’s FRIED! He even has a Gateway computer in the closet. Jeremy is the only person who has had so many computers and never paid for any of them. I guess that’s what happens when you go to school for computer repair. You just get free computers. (HA HA…)Â I mean he knows how to build a computer from scratch. He should put those skills to use and take a trip to Micro Center when I go for my mousepen and build himself a really good computer. If he was really good he could come up with something even better and become a millionaire! Well that’s just me dreaming out loud…Oh well.

Oh, I forgot I had a dream 2 nights ago…

I was back in Elementary school and this boy had a pop bottle bomb and some other kind of bomb and was going to kill everyone in my class. I tried to escape and he tried to keep me in the room, but me and one other boy got away. I ran to the principal and tried to alert her of what was happening and she didn’t believe me. So I said “Oh, well. I tried to tell her.”, then I ran out of the school. When I got out it was only me and the boy and I saw a fire start inside the school from inside through the window. Everyone was killed and I fell to my knees and started sobbing when Jeremy drove up in his white Pontiac to get me.

I read on Deliveranceplace.com that dreams of being back in school are signs of withcraft and God’s trying to alert you of it. They have a book on their website about interpeting dreams from God. I’m going to buy it today. It’s only like $2-$3.

Well, that’s about it for today. I would write more, but the guy at VOC Rehab had me write…well type about myself on the computer there. He said I could write whatever I want so I did. I wrote about myself and I felt like I was writing on my blog. I wrote about my name and it’s meaning, about my websites and about all the jobs I had before Koinonia Homes. I wrote why I hate customer service and would never work in that field again. So that was that. I’m about to go work on Sam’s Manga now…Well start on it at least….

Last night I had three different dreams…

The first dream I had I was back at my Mom’s house and I was getting ready to go to bed. Before going to bed I started praying asking God for forgiveness for my sins. Then I went to sleep. It was like a movie because I woke up and it was the next morning I think. I was up for a few minutes and then suddenly I heard a loud noise coming from the sky. I ran to the window to see what it was, but I couldn’t see it because of the tree branches. Even though I couldn’t see it I knew what it was [It was Satan falling from the heavens]. Sirens started going off and there was red lights flashing! I grabbed Destin and held him close to me and ran in the hallway when I heard Satan strike the Earth. Suddenly a strong force of wind came towards my Mom’s house shattering the windows. I turned my back towards the door I was behind and held Destin close, protecting him from all the glass that was in the air. When it was over I ran downstairs to see if everyone was okay. While I was running down the stairs I began praying for the Holy Spirit to protect me and Destin and I pleaded the blood of Jesus over both of us. When I saw my Dad he was still blinded from the truth and he went outside. I don’t know where he was going or what happened to him. I went to my Mom and she knew what it was that hit the Earth too. I just knew we were going to die, but I didn’t care. I only cared about where I was going to go when I did to die and I only wanted to be with Jeremy when that time came. I asked my Mom for the keys to her car so I can go to Jeremy and she gave them to me.

Then I woke up and woke Jeremy up and told him about my dream, started crying a littile and went back to sleep.

The next dream I had was pointless. I know it came from watching Amistad before I went to sleep. In the dream I was trying to convince this man to let these 3 African women go back to Africa. I convinced him and I aiding the women on their journey back to Africa.

The next dream was a bit disturbing and sexual. I rather not share the whole dream, but I will give you a brief summary. In the dream a guy was trying to have sex with me. I refused and he tried to force me. The next thing I know I’m beating the guy over the head with a coffee pot with all my might until he stopped moving. IÂ then grabbed my jacket and ran out the door leaving him on the floor.

The first dream I believe was from God because I was praying to him a lot in the dream. Have you ever found yourself praying in your sleep? I have many of times. Anyways I believe God is trying to tell me to come closer to him. Closer to him than ever before. He doesn’t want me the way I am right know. Also the dream just proved to me how much I really do love Jeremy. I love him so much that when I knew I was going to die, he was the only one I wanted to be with when it happened.

The second dream was of coarse pointless.

And the last dream I think it was one of two things:

It was eithier a spirit husband trying to defile himself with me…

or

It was withcraft. Someone trying to poison me in my dreams because the guy had an STD. I read about a guy whom had a dream that a old woman was trying to make him eat this black substance. He fought her and hit her hand and the black substance fell on the bed. When he woke up the black substance was on the bed. He told his Pastor about it and the Pastor told him that it was witchcraft and someone was trying to poison him and put a curse on him. Maybe someone was trying to curse me, but who?

I know I haven’t been praying like I should. Maybe that’s why I was attacked because I usually pray for angels to watch over me, a wall of fire to surround me and the blood of Jesus to cover me before I sleep. I haven’t done that it in almost a week because of something that happened. I need to get back on the grind with God again.

What a night huh? The End of Times…A voyage to Africa…Beating a guy unconcious. And I thought when I went to sleep I was actually going to get some rest!