I began to talk to my children father again on the phone whom was in Oklahoma at the time whom claimed he was going to come get me, but never did and I eventually made plans to move back to Ohio because  I was tired of the abuse and I couldn’t find a job either.

One night my friend that lived downstairs invited me to a male review and I wanted to go. I didn’t care how the abusive jerk felt about it so I got dressed and told him I was going to a party. He got angry and called me “bitch” several times. I had enough so I called the police and had him escorted out of my apartment. I left and went to the review and came back intoxicated when I noticed this asshole broke into my apartment and was lying across my bed! I was too drunk to do anything so I just went to sleep.

The following day I ignored him and then asked him when he was going to leave. He asked me what my problem was and I told him again to leave and to have his things ready when I got back from the store. Later that night he still remained in my apartment and while I was on the phone with my son’s father he attacked me. He punched me in the the face while I sat on the floor, poured a can of beer all over my hair and face, and began to kick me while I was on the floor. I grabbed his dreadlocks trying to rip them from his scalp. He then started to choke me, I began to bang on the floor to alert my friend to call the police. The police came and asked me what happened and he tried to deny hitting me, but you could clearly see that I had been assaulted given the fact that I had fresh scars around my neck from him choking me. He was taken into custody after giving the police his sorry ass sob story claiming I was all he had. I never felt so much relief before in my life. It was like a weight was lifted from me when he left. I turned off my phone and actually slept peacefully because I knew he was going to call my phone repeatedly from jail.

The following day I turn my phone on after finding over 20 messages on my voicemail. He called again 2 minutes after turning my phone on. I answered and he claimed he was sorry and claimed he loved me. I really didn’t care how he felt. I no longer felt guilty for him being in jail. It wasn’t my fault he was there, it was his, but he did convince me to see him in jail. I know I shouldn’t have, but this was my opportunity to give him a piece of my mind.

When I went to see him, he again had this whole story about how he was reading his Bible and praying and going to Bible study. He wanted to come to Ohio and asked me to leave him money to go back to his home state. I told him ok, but I never intended on doing so at all. After several visits he asked me about the money and I told him the truth and told him that I was not leaving him any money at all. He got upset and that’s when I gave him a piece of my mind and reminded him about all the help I provided while he did nothing to help me. I told him that he treated me like garbage and took everything I had. I was able to say what I wanted without having to be physically abused. This was the last time I visited that asshole. I took a plane back to Ohio after selling everything I had including my car. I had to throw away a lot of clothes and toys that I couldn’t sell which really hurt.

I am glad I am out of that situation, but these events have had an impact on my life. I am now quick tempered, non-trusting, and mean. I will not allow anyone to take advantage of me or hurt me anymore and if I feel that I am being taking advantage of I end up losing patience and completey losing my temper. In a way this is a good thing because I have become more assertive and I have set boundaries in place that will not be broken with out consequences. I am a much stronger wiser woman than before these events I experienced in Florida.

I was in an abusive relationship that lasted for about 6 years. I was mentally, physically, verbally, and emotionally abused in this relationship. I was cheated on, hospitalized, and disrespected to the fullest extent possible. I found that I was called a “Bitch” more than the name my mom gave me at birth. As I tried to make this relationship work for the benfit of my children my ex would do everything in his power to humiliate me and to destroy my character. He would use things that I shared with him about people I cared about against me in negative ways in the attempt to alienate me from everyone that cared about me. After 6 years of drama, pain, and misery I finally ended the abusive relationship, but even then he would still abuse me. Calling and harassing me, writing negative letters to our children about me until he called me a “bitch” again because I questioned him about his favoritism between our sons. This was the last time he was going to disrespect me in my book. I ended all contact with him because he didn’t offer my sons anything beneficial at all and I wasn’t going to continue to allow him to abuse me in anyway. Enough is enough…

Freed but Imprisoned

I met a new man shortly after deciding to end the relationship with my ex. I used this man to get over my ex and as an excuse to make the relationship over for good. Saying it was over wasn’t enough…I needed more leverage. When I was finally rid of my ex this man wound up in a predicament and with my big heart (at the time), I thought it was the right thing to help him out. My children were with my parents for the summer so I had no concern with them being around a total stranger when he needed a place to stay. The agreement was to allow him to live in my apartment while he looked for work so he could get himself together. In the end this did not happen at all. He used me to no end, abused me, and did nothing to change his situation for the better. The abuse this time lasted for 2 months, but seemed like years. I felt like I was in prison and I was fighting my way out.

I should have picked up on the signs that he was abusive when he snapped at me for “taking to long” to come and get him, but I was naive. The first time he abused me was when I was tired of using all the money I had from the county to care for him. I got up faithfully 5 days a week and looked for a job while he laid in bed and did nothing he claimed he was going to do, but he would get up faithfully 7 days a week and take my car to the strip club staying out all hours of the night and returning home drunk. If I got upset over it I just had to get over it. Mind you if I ever did something like this suffer no delusion he would’ve become physically abusive with me. When I finally had enough and questioned him why he wasn’t looking for work and began to point out all the effort I was making and help I provided to him he lashed out in a rage and we fought. He ripped my shirt and bra from me, choked me several times and held me against my will when I tried to leave my apartment. He took my cell phone away when I tried to call for help and locked me in my room. I balled my eyes out because I was all alone and I had no one I could call to for help. Anytime I tried to yell out the window or open the door he would threaten to bash my head open with a 25lb weight he held in his hand.  After countless attempts of trying to escape his attacks I reached for his testicles and squeezed them as tight as I could not letting  go. When he was finally able to pry my hands off them I received several blows from his fist as he threatened to kill me. Several more brutal attacks followed after this one.

It even came to a point where I had no money to pay my rent and I got up daily to get assistance from a charity. This charity only took so many people in a day and if you wasn’t there earlier enough you’d be turned away and would have to try again the next day. I made 4 attempts to get assistance, and if I was turned away this lazy ungrateful bastard would lash out at me, but he never got up and went with me to get the help and he was living in my apartment rent free. I was the one getting up at 3am and sitting outside for hours trying to get my rent paid. At this point I was not doing this for him, but for me because I wanted to be with my boys.

The second time I endured physically abuse from him was when he mugged me while I was driving because I refused to spend my sons child support money on some $150 shoes he wanted from a flea market we went to. He expected me to spend all my son’s money on him to buy him food, and get his hair done, etc. When I refused he lashed out with physical abuse. When he mugged me I pulled the car over into a near by parking lot, pulled the key out of the ignition and ran inside a fast food restaurant and called the police. I wasn’t going to let him take my cell phone from me this time and being in public gave me an advantage to have witnesses if he tried to harm me. He was arrested, but he talked me into getting him out of jail promising he would never do it again. In the back of my head I felt like he was going to do it again, but he made me feel sorry for him and even guilty for having him locked up so I gave in and helped him again just to be abused 2 more times.

During this time I befriended a girl from New York downstairs from me and we started to go out. I began to share with her what I was going through with him and she began to encourage me to leave him. I told her how he would take my cell phone from me every time he assaulted me so I could not call for help and she told me if I ever needed her to call the police then to bang on the floor and she would.

Today was a beautiful day and it was ruined for me. I just walked around the mall watching all the St. Patrick’s Day celebrators walk around intoxicated and acting like complete and utter idiots. After the entertainment of that began to bore me, I went to the rapid station and waited for the train to arrive. It seemed like everyone from Parma and Brookpark (the St. Patrick’s Day crowd) didn’t have to wait long for the rapid to come. A train came for them back to back, but for us, we were left waiting for over an hour because the RTA was catering to them. We spend money on your the RTA bus and rapid everyday faithfully and you they cater to these people on St. Patrick’s Day whom will probably won’t be catching your the rapid anytime soon. What a fucking shame!! We’re loyal customers and we should be treated better than that!

While I was downtown and on the busI talked to Tenisha for a little while until I got home to keep myself from actually snapping on anyone that annoyed me. I didn’t want to take my frustrations out on anyone non-deserving of such. I’m now at home and suprisingly this is the most peace I’ve had all day. I’m really worn out from all the displeasures of today so I’m just going to call it a day and take a nap. I am really exhausted now and would just rather not think about today. I hope Thursday turns out the way I expect at least. I’m tired of this old track record of disappointments and it’s time for a change in pace.

I shed tears when I think about the angel God has sent me;
What greater gift than an innocent child, but
An emperor with love that purifies my soul;
His love speaks to my heart;
His words speak to my soul;
I am bound by love eternally…

This feeling has loosened my chains;
I have spawn wings to fly;
soaring high, powered by undying love;
eternally yours;
eternally true;
What else can I say…I love you.

My most precious possessions are yours to have;
my heart;
my soul;
my life;
All which are priceless;
Worth more than gold, silver, and precious stones;
Worth more than anything on this earth and the next…

Those 3 words can never express the emotions I have inside;
My heart speaks words that the ears can never hear;
My emotions are not able to be expressed by words alone;
Even though these 3 words can never measure up to what I feel inside;
I love you.
I love you.
I love you….

Could she find peace with another man or would she have to be alone for the rest of her life to have a life of peace and happiness? One would think this woman would no longer be able to love another after so much pain and misery, but even after all that she had been through her heart remained warm, large, and loving; waiting for the right man to come into her life and make up for all the wrong men had done to her by treating her like the queen she was born as.

Her name is Eden for she is as rare as the garden itself and as beautiful as a bright summer day. Her smile still shined even after a storm like the sun. Eden had beautiful long ebony hair, dark eyes and golden bronze skin. She was about 5’8 with an athletic build.

She spent the last 9 months in Florida and learned a lot of lessons while she lived there, but after a failed attempt of finding employment shortly after her abusive relationship she sold all her things including her car and moved back to Ohio to be reunited with her family once again.