Today my dad and I went downtown to file a civil protection order/restraining order against Brian, because my next door neighbor told me about a time when she seen him at my house. First she hears a lot of racket and then she sees a white car backing out. The last time I saw Brian he broke into the house and a white car was in the driveway because I had the locks changed. He’s been gone for 30 days so I have every right to change the locks now. Anyways, I found out he was in the house and I went inside and a girl was sitting at my table and he’s sitting across from her. He messed up the landlords window and everything just to retrieve a pair of raggedy shoes, a bottle of cleaning solution, and 2 pieces of mail….Real stupid right?

I then asked him for his address and he refused to give it to me claiming to send the divorce papers to the house where he lives (referring to MY home). He has not been here for a whole month and he doesn’t pay any bills here so how can he claim he lives here? I did, however discover his actual address a few days later when I filed for a divorce. So the joke is on him.

Well today while downtown I found out that they sent a certified letter to his residence on the 21st of May. They still haven’t received anything back from him or the post office. I just don’t understand why he is so difficult. He has made it so clear that he does not want to be married or even cares about the child I am carrying so why not cooperate? He always has to make everything difficult. I do not want to married to that man any longer. I want to be free of him. I hate the fact that I ever married him in the first place! If he doesn’t accept the certified letter, I will then have to wait for it to come back, go back downtown and ask the courts to serve him by regular mail. I will then be able to proceed with the divorce. With or without him there. All in all, no matter how difficult he tries to be I will not be forced to stay married to him and I will get my divorce granted well before the end of this year!

Other than that, I start working my new job on Monday…YAY! I will also be getting workers compensation money again which will really help me out with my bills and everything in addition to my job’s income. You see how God works? He works everything out, because He already knew this was going to happen and He put things in place to help me and my sons. We have a sympathetic landlord, I was blessed with a job, and I am also being blessed with my workers comp money which will help us. I’m also considering going back to school once my baby is born as well. No matter what happens, we will be ok. My sons father also wants to get back with me, but I don’t really know about that. I found him more tolerable, but I can’t take him back if he is still the same way he was before. I know he really loves me, but he does have his issues. I’ll just have to pray on it. I am not really ready to jump into another relationship so quick, but we can be friends right now and if something happens in the future, then so be it. I know one thing, I will not make the same mistakes as before. I also have another friend whom seems to find interest in me and I don’t want to hurt him because I am not ready to be in another relationship at all. It’s only been a month since Brian has been gone even though the marriage was really over well before then. Although I have no desire to EVER take Brian back I am just not ready for a new relationship. I’m about to have a baby in the next 2 1/2 months, I’m about to get a divorce, and I just need to focus on my new baby and my sons and healing from this terrible marriage. It is nice to have all this attention right now, it kind of makes up for the lack of attention I haven’t been getting in the last 6 months, but still… I can’t.

My sons father did offer to be there for me during my labor and delivery which is very nice of him, and to be honest, I would like him there for the support, but I’m not going to put all my hope into that as of now. I know my Mom WILL be there and I know that I DO NOT want Brian there at all. I don’t need to be stressed from him while in labor or recovery. His mere presence or the mention of his name does nothing, but makes my blood pressure go up. :vangry: