Well I guess I need to update this blog..

What’s been going on?

Confusion…such confusion!

People lying…on me, Jeremy, etc. People lie so much I can’t even tell what’s the truth from a lie. I tried to offer Johnathan spiritual support the other day because I talked to him a few times on the phone and he said he wanted help. I talked to him about God and he would actually agree and give me his insight on things. Then he decided to drop by on Tuesday and never showed up. That day I had so much stuff to show him. I remember him saying that he never got delivered so I decided to start deliverance on him through God. I prayed for him before he was suppose to show up, but he never did. So Thursday he shows up. I had nothing really together. So I went outside with him and we talked for a while walking down the street.

Man, John didn’t talk too much about God at all; instead he talked about Jeremy and how gross he is or he down talked him and called him a punk etc, etc. Then he tried to talk to me on a boyfriend and girlfriend level telling me how so much stuff would be different if I was with him and not Jeremy. He really doesn’t care about Jeremy’s feelings at all. He blames Jeremy for everything that he has ever done bad. He kept asking me to sleep with him and then I told him 1. “I’m not going to let you defile my temple.” 2. “Your sexual demon keeps trying to attack me, but it’s not going to work.” The next thing I know he denies the demon and tries to make other excuses like blaming the whole idea on being exposed to porn and other sexual stuff. Regardless of the excuse…A perverse demon can enter you through being exposed to that because those activities will manifest lust in you which is a sin. This sin will open doors to the lustful, perverse demons.ÂÂ

I really didn’t want Jeremy to know I talked to him because he was going to automatically think we were having relations so we stayed outside. When we did come back. I showed Johnathan a letter Jeremy wrote because Jeremy told me that Johnathan doesn’t want to be my friend he only wants sex. I asked him about it and he said Jeremy was full of crap. Jeremy came over my place and saw Johnathan here and immediately they started fighting. I called my Mom and told her to come get me. I didn’t want to call the police because I didn’t want anyone to go to jail. After a huge argument I spent the night at my Mom’s.

Why did I do that? This is my apartment no one lives here, but me and the kids.

Anyways to make a long story short. I found out that Johnathan obviously didn’t want spiritual help, but sexual help (if you know what I mean). Then he called himself testing me. I feel really discouraged when it comes to helping others because now I feel played. Then he lied and said that I just want to be friends with Jeremy and I want to use him to pay rent when I never said that. I did say I just want to be friends. I told Jeremy that myself. I don’t believe he wants Jeremy and I together. He’s spiteful and a bit wicked if you ask me. So right now I really don’t care for Johnathan at all. We can’t be friends. All I can offer is prayer…from a distance and forgive him for the lies.ÂÂ

What else is new?

I’m thinking of purchasing a used, rebuilt computer for $150. It’s not what I desire, but I need a computer and this will just be something I’ll just have to use until I can get one that is brand new.

I believe Jeremy is moving in…I’m still trying to figure him out though (Better keep $250 saved just in case). I don’t know what’s going to happen. I just don’t want any repeat of events and right now I’ve put a wall around my feelings. I don’t think I’d be able to hold up without it because since my last deliverance I asked God to show me how to love and all I was doing was crying a little each day. That’s not the norm for me, but I guess God had to break the barrier I put up around my emotions first. My Dad actually forced me to place that barrier there…so did life.

Maybe I should bring the wall down…

Any Updates?

The only update’s today is that I’m going to begin working on my spiritual warfare website. I’m going to have a link in the header to GV saying “This site[or ministry] is part of the God’s Vision ministry” and a link saying “Presented by Sweetvanillasugar.com” in the footer. I still haven’t decided on a title to the site. I might just call it Spiritual Warfare.