Today it is snowing for the first time…it really sucks! I hate the cold and I called the gas company about a week ago to have the gas turned on. Matter of fact, it was the Thursday before last. They told me I had to fax them a copy of my ID so I did and I called on I think Monday or Tuesday last week and they claimed they never received the fax. That really sucked since I had to actually pay for the information to be faxed. That was a $1.50 down the drain. So my 2 boys and I have been living in a cold apartment for about 2 weeks. I can’t even cook for them because we have a gas stove. We’ve been eating take-out or TV dinners and microwaved oatmeal for 2 weeks. This isn’t fair at all! I only have 1 small space heater so the kids have to sleep in the room with me so they can be warm. I called them several times last week about the gas and they said I have to wait until Wednesday this week to get service turned on!

My Mom was supposed to come get me and Destin today around 11am, but she never came. I was going to get the phone turned on today so we can at least have phone service and I can’t even do that unless I bundle Destin up and catch the bus since my car is broke down. I believe it needs new spark plugs and I don’t even have the money right now to get that fixed. I never wanted this for my kids. After having Elijah I always wanted a working car so I would never have to carry my kids in the cold and get on the bus.

I still don’t know what’s going to happen with Jeremy and I. I do know one thing… I hate when people try to say stuff when they have no place. This guy named Eric tells Jeremy not to be with me, but how can he even have the nerve when he is married and told me how he slept with over 500 different women while he was and still is married to his wife. You think you’re special because you are trying to do God’s work now? But you are still lusting for other women. I guess he forgot that Jeremy slept around on me (Previous Post). Oh I forgot… Jeremy never told him all the stuff he did to me. Just the stuff I did. He knows Jeremy cheated, but he doesn’t know how many times or the situation. And I’m not the type to blab and get people involved in our business because then everyone will always have something to say and I won’t ever have peace.

Anyways… I don’t care anymore what he or anyone else thinks. They can keep putting people who aren’t worthy up on a pedestal. It doesn’t matter to me anymore. That’s not the only place I can go.

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I just got back from walking down the hill to use a pay-phone to get phone service turned on. This guy let me use his cell phone to call so I didn’t have to use any quarters (that was kind of him). I called First Communications and since I don’t have any credit they said I have to pay a deposit of $48, I told them no and hung up. After thanking the man for letting me use his phone I started walking because it was started to hail and Destin was getting bothered by the hail. I noticed this SUV had stopped and when I got up to it a lady asked me if I wanted a ride. I said yes and she gave me a ride up the hill back to my home. It’s amazing how God takes care of you through people. That’s the second time this week someone gave me a ride when I was walking. At least I know God still cares about me and loves me.

We are supposed to be going to church today to talk to Benny. I really don’t want to though. I want help, but the real reason why I don’t want to go is because if I see Eric I might just tell him off because he lied and said I wanted to have sex with him and that is not true at all. I hate helping people and they do stuff like that. Just because I was nice to you and gave you a ride to Bible Study and home I’m suppose to want to have sex? That’s insane! I guess I wanted to have sex with Trudy’s Mom too because I gave her Mom a ride to Bible study and home the same day. Man, men are dumb and stupid. A pretty girl is nice to you and then you take that as body chemistry that the girl wants to do you. Why can’t you realize that maybe the girl just wants to be friends? Especially when she has a boyfriend that you are in fact acquainted with.

I can’t be nice to anyone because of some strange reason everyone that I’m nice to wants to have sex or thinks I want to have sex with them. I don’t flirt, or talk about sex. I don’t even tell them about my relationship problems because that’s no one’s business. Like for instance:

I was friends with this guy named Robert at a job I used to work at and all the girls liked him. I didn’t like him mainly because he thought he was all that because all the girls liked him. Later I started being friends with him and Jeremy kept accusing me of messing around with him when I was completely innocent and Robert had a girlfriend whom I went to school with (I just don’t do that type of stuff). Then one day Robert called my cell phone and Jeremy answered and talked with him and according to Jeremy, Robert said that I liked him and he thought I wanted to have sex with him and I was crying to him about how bad of a boyfriend Jeremy is. When Jeremy told me this I was furious. I called Robert and Robert denied ever saying any of that. So either Jeremy is lying or Robert is just plain crazy. I just decided not to talk to him anymore because it was too much he says she say stuff.

I just got back from my Mom’s house. I finally got someone to turn the phone on for me so now I don’t have to worry about walking down the hill to use a pay-phone or going to the library to use the internet. I got my phone turned on through AT&T. I almost knew I would have to pay a deposit. I’m so glad. I will be finally able to work on my website. I still need to finish the Strawberry Web Builder and Sam’s Manga. I’m also thinking about adding two new themes to my blog’s purple theme and a blue one so people can choose between the three. The main one will still be pink and white because those are my favorite colors.

Added at 6:40pm

I asked my Mom to have me back by 6pm even though I didn’t get back until about 6:30pm so I would be here by the time Jeremy got here. I even left him a note so he would know that I would be back and I left the door unlocked. Of coarse when I got back he wasn’t here and never came because the note was still in the door. I thought he got off a 6pm and wanted to go to church. Here it is 6:57pm and he isn’t here. I guess he just went to church without me. If that is the case then that’s not even right. I hate being stood up. The last time he stood me up he cheated on me the following day. I’ll see in a little while because if he doesn’t show up soon then I’ll know what’s up.

Later…