samaraLately I’ve found that I’ve been a lot meaner than normal since I returned from Tampa, FL. I never really had a temper and I used to be rather humble, laid back, and quiet. I’m still laid back and some what quiet, but humble? Forget it. It’s like I’m a ticking time bomb. I hate feeling angry, but I find that I go off more than usual and I stay mad for quite a while. I never stayed angry longer than maybe an hour, but the last time I was pissed, I was angry for a day and a half. I was so fucking angry so I just went to sleep to calm down, dreamed about what made me angry, and woke up just as angry as I was before I took a nap.
I’ve been through so much as a woman at the age of 25 and I believe all the things life has put me through is plays a big factor in why I have a “no B.S. attitude“. I don’t like being as mean as I am right now and I wish I could change that. I believe there is some things within myself that need to be confronted and put to rest in order to calm my temper some, but I don’t think I will be as humble and meek as I was 6 years ago. Honestly in the last week I’ve clocked out on 2 different people and was at the verge of exploding on Brian the other day.
I went off on some one today to an extinct, but I don’t feel I was in the wrong. You tell me:
A man asked me what kind of phone I had while I was on the bus texting my sister. I told him it was a Samsung. He then asked me was it a camera phone. I told him “yea”. He then asked me how old I was so I told him in a neutral tone “that is none of your business.” He said “God Bless You” and got up and went to another seat. When I got off the bus so did he and he walked passed me and said “You need to stop being so damn mean.” My response was “Fuck You!” I don’t owe it to him or no one else for that matter to tell my fucking age. That was just an invite for more personal questions leading to him asking for my number etc. I should have just told him to “leave me the fuck alone”. Then he could have said I was mean.
I know I need to work on my temper. I yelled at a woman in the gift shop yesterday when I took Elijah to the museum too because I feeled like she was nit picking at me. I feel bad about it now, but she really irritated the hell out of me. Well I have to wash and condition my hair. I plan on taking my braids out on April 17th and putting some more in sometime in May or June. I will be updating my natural hair growth progress on GrowBlackHair.NET. Check it out!
Tags: growblackhair.NET, rediscovery
Girl, I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes being stressed in life and going through things can make you feel that way. I find that I’m a lot angrier and hostile than I use to be (although I was always angry & hostile lol). When I come online, I am so humble and there are nice people on here. They put me in calmer moods, especially sometimes when I blog and receive feedback.
Shannon’s last blog entry » It Never Ends 001.