Yesterday was a really nice day, so I decided to take the boys to the Children’s Muesum because we had nothing to do. It was basically the last warm day this week, before this cuckoo weather started to change again    , so why not try to enjoy it?

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I’ve always believed that when you get a woman pregnant whether you are married to them or not, that if you fail to provide for your child and/or children that God frowned upon you. I believe that it is a sin to do that, because it is clearly wrong. I never found any passages in the Bible on the subject of being a “deadbeat” until now:

If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
1 Timonthy 5:8

Now that I’ve read this, I know now that the father’s of my children will be judged  and punished for their actions. It makes me feel better about the situation of my children when I see that even God acknowledges it. Even though I am now married and I have a man that helps me with my children, I still remember the years when I didn’t have anyone, but myself and my own family to lean on. While I was working hard to make a way for myself and children, dealing with low paying-high labor jobs, dealing with Children & Families Services, dealing with child support and not getting any help at all. They were and still are only worried about providing for themselves, doing what they want whenever they want, and having a wonderful time only worrying about themselves.

I can’t even ask my eldest son’s father for a dime. I have to be really desperate to ask him for anything but when I did contact him on Facebook he reads my message and never responds. I’ve sent him messages prior not even asking for money and he treats me and my son like we don’t even exist.  He hasn’t seen my son for 5+ years and he won’t even acknowledge me, but proudly displays my sons name on his Facebook account like he’s such a great “dad”.

My youngest two father is so pathetic and it’s even shameful to think that I was with someone like him. He spends his time making Youtube video’s of skinny 18 year-old girls acting like groupies and whores. I think one of the girls are suppose to be his girlfriend. Mind you I am 26 years old, what do I look like hanging out with a bunch of 18 year old’s or having an 18 year old boyfriend? When I saw the videos I was ashamed and embarrassed to say the least. This is what I had children with and wasted 6+ years on? He claims he does all this for the boys but it doesn’t make sense. The boys will never benefit from it, only he is benefiting from entertaining his sick perversions for sex. It’s really sad and even though I will never regret having my children, I do regret having them with their father’s.

With all this said, I will never talk bad about their fathers to them. I believe that I really don’t have to say much because in the end actions speak louder than words, but with that said, this is exactly why Brian and I are preparing to have them adopted. Their father’s don’t care about their well-being, but my husband and I do and I believe adoption is the best option for them. We will no longer have to deal with child support, Supportkids, their father’s not providing for them, etc. Once my children and I are free of those deadbeats for good, it will be a day worth rejoicing.

Well for starters. I’ve added a neat little AJAX login to my blog so I can log in easier and so my guest can register and log in easily as well . I had a plugin installed that changed the WordPress logo to my logo on the original login page, but this plugin is even better. I hope you all find it as easy and as convenient as I have.

So referring to my blog title…

I find that at my current job(which I am quitting on August 21st), I am unusually angry by the things that I am required to do there. To help you understand, here is a typical day on the job:

I get to work at 8:30am, and the 2 special needs adults are both still asleep or awake. Their mother usually leaves as soon as I arrive unless she doesn’t have to work, in which she’ll leave later on in my shift to go shopping or something. Anyways, I wake them up at about 10am unless their already awake. – It’s their summer break and I feel that waking them up at 8:30am is ridiculous.

The next thing I do is prepare breakfast. I either make them cereal, toast, and milk, or hotcakes and bacon with milk or juice. While they are eating I administer their meds and then I clean up the kitchen. After breakfast I get them dressed. Sometimes I bathe her daughter so I can wash and style her hair.

Following breakfast, I do activities with them, or I allow them to watch TV or listen to music until 12:30pm. Around this time I prepare lunch for them. I then clean the kitchen again, make their beds, sometimes I have to put their clothes away and clean their rooms too. I also have to assist David in learning to tie his shoes and remind Danielle to go to the bathroom every hour. I then allow them to have some free time until my shift is complete.

It may sound simple, but dealing with 2 special needs adults can be very difficult because of the amount of patience it requires to deal with them. Sometimes I want to tear my hair out when David is humming or being unruly, or when Danielle is being stubborn, or vomiting everywhere. I also have to take a q-tip and clean out Danielle’s nose when it becomes clogged with mucus and boogers -  Yuck!

When I worked at night I basically came in and prepared a snack for them, did activities, fed them dinner, bathed them, and got them ready for bed. My best friend does this shift now until school starts again for them.

After a few months of this, especially when Summer came around, I found myself becoming downright angry with my job duties. I know it’s my job and I get paid to do it, but I feel like the things I’m doing for her kids, I should be doing for my own. I feel like I should be at home feeding my own kids, dressing my own kids, and doing activities with my own kids. I shouldn’t be spending my hard earned money taking her kids to Wendy’s and such while mine are in daycare or at home with Brian. Am I wrong for feeling angry?

I  feel like this job has been taking me away from my own responsibilities as a mother. Here I am basically being a mother to another woman’s children while my daycare is caring for mine.

Even the way their mom treats them angers me. She doesn’t spend any quality time with her children at all. It’s like we (the caregivers) are raising her children. She took fertility pills to conceive them because she wanted children so bad, so God gives her 2 special needs children that requires even more attention than normal children and she puts them off on an agency. Diane doesn’t spend time with them in the morning because she goes straight to work and when she gets home she puts them to bed. On her off day’s she leaves and goes shopping or gets her hair done, while the caregiver cares for her children. Even on Saturday she has help. Sunday is the only day Diane spends with her own children and judging from my experience there she spends approximately a total of 22 hours a week with her children if that!

I really think that’s fucked up. How can I go to the great lengths of using fertility meds to have children just to have someone else take care of them? Sounds crazy doesn’t it?

(more…)

Man I am so sore today. Yesterday I decided to be an idiot and try to imitate the guy from “Yo Gabba Gabba” when he kicks and claps his hands and in my attempt my feet went from beneath me and I flew up in the air and landed on my back. My head hit the carpet and everything. My sister and I laughed so hard because it was pretty darn goofy and my Mom just stared trying not to laugh at me and said “That’s what you get for trying to mark him.” At least Destin cared if I was okay. He came up to me and said “Mommy, are you okay?” He’s such a sweetheart. This morning I woke up with my neck all tight and my back is still sore. I’m glad my sister didn’t record that and add it to YouTube…that was so embarrassing!

Watch him kick his leg up in this video. It’s hilarious!

My boys are so intrigued with this show. Even Jeremiah, but after watching for the first time the bright colors, the techo like music, singing, even the guy in the bright orange suit makes you just love it!

Today was a pretty uneventful day. I went downtown with my sis, called Fitworks about 3 times trying to get in touch with the guy that called me for an interview, and spent an hour at the library updating my Myspace page, doing some detective work and blogging. Oh yeah and I’m still working on potty training Destin so he can go to preschool in a few months.

Well that’s how my day went. Very boring and lame… HA HA yeah!

I got back at 5:50pm yesterday and man was it chaotic toting a toddler, infant and a 5 year-old throughout the airport. I was again praying as we took off, but Elijah was amazed by the whole experience while Destin stuffed his face with cheese crackers and Jeremiah slept.

At least my Mom was able to help me when I was in Ohio, but when I got off the airplane I was chasing Destin throughout the terminal! We then spent 20 minutes searching for my car since I was in such a hurry when I left I only remembered what floor I parked on. After that I went back to the terminal, got our luggage and came home.

My mom was of coarse panicking because she expected me to call an hour ago so I had to call her and let her know we arrived safe and sound.

Well I have to go take Jeremy to work. Today is his first day. I also have tons of things to do today which I will talk about later. I also changed the layout again. As far as navigation goes the home page, pages page and my link-me page is located in my banner. Just rollover the 3 square pictures to access these pages. Enjoy!

I haven’t written in my blog in a while once again. I had alot of stuff to do the past week…getting prepared for Destin’s B-day party and all. You know what I hate about my family? I hate when I try to do things and everyone has something to say. I mean I spent the last three days cleaning the house so it will be in decent shape for the party and I still got complaints from my Mom saying my house was nasty. Then they kept complaining about the food. I ordered BBQ wings, hot wings and an extra large pizza. I also had BBQ chips and cheese puffs for the kids, rootbeer and strawberry soda oh and hot dogs. My aunt Cheryl just kept going on about how hungry she is and how she was going to go to Do Plabo’s afterwards. Then my dad left and came back with 2 buckets of KFC chicken and fries. When it was time to eat the cake I got complaints about the icing! I spent $40 on Destins 2 cakes from the bakery. One cake was a personal cake for him to smash up and it was red with a gold #1 on the top of it. The other cake was a .25 sheet Winne the Pooh cake with red and gold trim. Man They kept going on about how red icing is nasty. I got the cakes done in the colors of the decor that I bought and all I get is unwanted crits about everything. It’s like I can never do anything right when it comes to them and they ALWAYS have negative comments about everything I do. I can’t remember one time when they didn’t have something to say. I’ve been to other family gatherings and no one else gets talked about. I mean the expensive cakes that I bought weren’t even good enough! Last year I made a sponge bob cake for Elijah from scratch using 100% all organic ingredients and I didn’t hear the end of it. I made a cake that reaslly tasted GREAT and was healthy and all I got was comments about it because it was organic. The only person who liked the cake was Elijah, my Dad and little Jeremy. My Dad even sent my Mom to Mentor where I lived to get another piece of cake.

I eat organic food and everyone has something to say. Well when I look really good and I am healthy with no health or physical problems when I’m 65 and you’re bent over with arthritis, high blood pressure, and no energy it’ll be your own fault. When I can have 3 kids and still be slim, healthy and vibrant while you blow up into a large, fat, cow then it’ll be you’re fault. While my children are aways healthy and sick-free while you’re kids keep picking up colds and the flu from school, again it’s your own fault since you think people who eat pure, organic food (food that is natural and is the way it was when it existed in Bibical times before pestisides, growth hormones, antibiotics, cloning and feeding animals whom eat plants ground up dead animals began) is crazy. I think people whom eat conventional food is crazy when they eat that garbage especially if you know what is done to the food. Hell I’m crazy for eating that Rally’s Chicken Snack Pack a few days ago when I knew that it was extremly unhealthy because I had a craving.

Try eating all organic food for 30 days…

Go to the store and buy all organic cereal, sugar, spices, sea salt, milk, meats, vegetables, bread, etc. If you eat pork stop eating it too and buy turkey bacon instead if you love bacon. The Applegate Farm Turkey Bacon is absolutely delicious and has the most mouth watering aroma as it cooks! If you are willing even stop drinking cow milk and drink organic soy milk made by Silk. This is the best kind…no chalky after taste, just smooth and delicious! Also no more FAST FOOD! Pack yourself an organic lunch when you go to work or school. (Turkey sandwich with organic mayo, organic romaine lettuce, a organic tomato with organic bread. A bag of organic potato chips, an organic apple or orange a couple of organic cookies if you like and a bottle of pure water or an orgainc sparkling juice beverage.) You’ll be surprised at how much weight you’ll loose in 30 days!

After doing this go to Mcdonalds and order a cheeseburger or just buy some conventional beef and make a hamburger or steak. Watch how sick it makes you and how your body will reject the meat because of the toxins in the food. This little experiment will show you cleary how bad conventional food is.

Other than being mad about that I picked up a new computer game: The Sims Complete Collection! It’s had me busy for the last couple of days. I might purchase the Sims 2 also. Next month I’m going to but a few bottles of Trilastin for my belly so I won’t get any stretch marks. I didn’t get any from Destin and the ones that I did get from Elijah are almost completely gone. I don’t want to get any more and mess up my pretty tummy so I’m going to buy a few months worth of Trilastin to avoid that.