Today I was so tired. I ended up going to Brian’s house and going to sleep. Jeremiah kept me up all night. He went to sleep around 3am and got up at 4am crying. I tried putting him to back to sleep by placing him on the couch with me, but Jeremiah is so darn difficult so I ended up putting him back on the love seat. I was up at 30 minute intervals with him and I believe I on only slept for maybe 2 hours at the most. I couldn’t function at all in the morning. I was moving so slow and Elijah ended up being late to school. I had to run for the bus which was right at the end of my street. Elijah had to walk most of he way to school on his own. Thankfully his school is only a 3-5 minute walk away. I was able to watch him walk to school from the bus and I then called 411 to connect me to his school, called his teacher’s room, and spoke to him myself to make sure he was okay. I felt so guilty leaving him. Next time I’ll just catch the next bus if I’m running late like that. I don’t like leaving my son like that. I walked to school on my own when I was 6, but I just really don’t feel comfortable allowing my own children to walk until they’re at least 8 or 9.

When I came home I worked on my math and talked to Brian on my cell. I was actually able to get Jeremiah to go to sleep by 11pm this time. That’s a big improvement from 3am, but I’m shooting for at least 9:30pm. He needs to learn how to go to sleep at a decent hour. It’s been really hectic with my sister and her new baby which was born early. It seems like I’m doing everything around the house, not that my sister ever helped much before he was born anyway.

Tomorrow I’m going to try to apply for another job downtown. It just isn’t much of anything in Ohio and I’m tired of going to school for different things just to have a job that I never actually get. I really have no idea what to do now and I’m starting to get really depressed. I don’t want to live here to much longer.