I must say, I will not miss being pregnant at all and although I’ve had a few people including my friend Peanut and Micah try to convince me to not have my tubes tied, I’ve decided to go ahead and do it. I don’t want anymore children. Based on what has happened why would you think I would want to leave that opportunity open? I should’ve gotten myself sterilzed after having Jeremiah. Now I’m going to have another child with an unstable, mentally ill, abusive person and to be honest; based on the things that have happened and is still happening now, I don’t feel like this child will be safe around him. I believe it’s in this child’s best interest for him to be absent from it’s life, his family included. Brian is very unstable and he tried to bring that instability along with his abusiveness into my children’s life.

It’s bad enough I found out that he was being violent towards both of the cats that I owned which is the real reason I got rid of them. He admitted to kicking Sapphire and my other cat Sahara basically told me in her own way what he was doing. She warmed up to all of us, but whenever Brian came near her she’d take off for dear life and hide behind the fridge. Funny she only behaved this way when he came around. Now if he is doing things like this to a small cat then what do you think he will do to a helpless newborn?

He’s already made it clear from the beginning that he doesn’t care for this child from how unconcerned he was when I became pregnant. Then he turned around and decided to deny paternity altogether. He hasn’t done a damn thing for this child. I’ve been the one struggling to buy things for this baby while he just sits back and enjoys his money to himself without a care in the world. It’s all good though. We all will reap what we sow eventually. I honestly want him to just leave me alone and I feel like once everything is done he will probably try to use the baby to continue to harass me and make me miserable.

Besides how triphlant Brian has been. I’ve had my support from my friends and family. My friend Tenisha hosted my Baby Shower on Sunday, which as I stated previously was a bit of a let down on my families part, but I do appreciate everyone whom did come. Peanut has been very supportive too. He helped paint the nursery, has come to most of my prenatal appointments, kept me company, as well as other various things. He’s been such a great friend that my Mom thinks he’s my boyfriend LOL. She said the baby will think he’s his/her father because that’s the voice that baby has been hearing which is true. It’s really a shame, but things happen for a reason. I’d rather my child hear Peanut talking to me with respect than to hear me being yelled and cursed at by Brian.