It is 2:32 am and I am still up. Why? Well for starters I was chatting with Brian on IM, but the main reason is because I thought I finally had Jeremiah on a normal sleep schedule. I had him to bed at about 10pm but, he woke up an hour ago and has been up ever since. He’s currently watching Yo Gabba Gabba. I guess it was too good to be true when I thought he was finally going to go to bed at a decent hour. Tomorrow Today I’m going to wake him up at at least 9am so he can take a nap earlier and then go to bed earlier. I hope it works because I can’t keep having these late nights with little Jeremiah.

So my day was pretty boring… I planned on spending the whole entire day in the house because it’s been raining all day and I’m currently loving my wavy curls. I didn’t want them to get ruined.

My Heart

“What’s in my heart?” is what Brian asked me on IM. I was stumped on what I wanted to write about today so he suggested that.  I guess writing what is in my heart can be the topic for today.

I have so much in my heart I don’t think I can cover every topic contained there. Not in just one entry so what topic shall I discuss today…

Life. My life and what I want currently and in the near future. Have you ever sat down and thought about if you could actually have what you desired in life at that very moment what would it be? Really sit there and think about this question. What do you really want right now?

My answer is I would like to be finish with school and have a degree for web design and digital graphics. I would want to be married to Brian and I would also like to modeling. It has all always been a dream of mine. Modeling could be quite interes ting. Traveling to different places, meeting new people, being exposed to so many different things. I would like want to have the means to travel whenever I want. I would want to have my own house in a different warmer state other than Ohio. I would want my own car also…to be specific a black Catillac truck. I would want to have the means to be able to provide for my boys and buy them everything they need and even what they want. Not that I would spoil them, but I would want the means to do so. Sometimes I imagine winning the lottery and all these desires would be accomplished. My house would be a 5 bedroom house. They would have their own rooms professional painted by an artist according to what they’re into at the moment. Elijah would have a dinosaur theme, Destin – Spongebob, and Jeremiah – Yo Gabba Gabba.When it comes to fantasying about the home I want, I always find myself only thinking about what I would want for the boys. I seldomly think about my room or other parts of the house.

Well that’s all that really comes to mind right now when it comes to what I want right now materially. Emotionally, I would like to be understood, and loved. I would like to be respected by everyone including my family most of all. I would like to be free from constantly being reminded of the mistakes I’ve made in my past. I just want to have peace, harmony and balance.