Judging from experience & observation of other relationships, a lot of black men don’t know how to be a MAN at all. Why? Because they grew up in fatherless homes & are raised by a woman. Their mom’s nuture and provide for them & there’s no male influence showing them how to be a man. This is what they see as they grow from a child to a man. A woman taking care of them. Then they grow up & let a woman take care of them because this is all they know. It’s really a sad shame because it doesn’t even bother them that the woman is doing THEIR job given to them by God Himself! We need to put a stop to this in our own children, but how?

How can you call yourself a man if you are letting a female do all the work? Why is it her job to pick you up and take you where you need to go? Why is she footing the bill on all the outings the two of you do together? Why is she paying all the bills, buying all the food, washing your clothes, and doing all these duties treating you like a king, but she’s being treating like a slave in return? The only thing you have to offer is your lazy ass keeping her company and giving her some sex, which may not be the bomb sex either. It’s like we as black women are trying to buy love. Don’t we feel like we are worthy of love without having to buy it? Shouldn’t we be the ones being showered with attention, gifts,  and love? It’s okay to do things for your man, but what is he doing for you? He should be doing just as much if not more.

I have regrets from being a woman like that. I did this two times in my life and after the second time around I made a vow that I will never take care of a lazy ass grown nigga again. I have 3 soon to be 4 children and I am doing this all on my own, so the way I see it, if a man comes into my life and instead of trying to help me, he calls himself trying to use me for his own selfish benefit, then he will be seeing the door within a matter of seconds. It is very selfish to be a man and to have the nerve to be that cold and triphlant. How dare you take advantage of a woman whom has children! This also goes for women that don’t have children. You are the one working day after day, paying your bills, buying food, etc. Just because you don’t have the obligation of children doesn’t mean you should settle for a man that will allow you to take care of him. To stop this treatment, my advice is that is all starts with us. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you are doing everything for a man. If he can’t get his shit right and treat you like a woman should be treated then don’t fuck with him. Move on to the next man. There are still some decent men out here. I know it is, but we need to stop limiting ourselves to dating these little boys!

We need men and there’s an epidemic going on in the black community involving our black men. They don’t know how to be a man! How can they learn, when they had no one to teach them growing up? Learning this makes me so sad, because I have 3 precious sons and I don’t want them to grow up to become like one of these men, but how can I teach my sons to be a MAN when I am merely a woman. Even though I know that I am now on my own in this situation and I have to play both roles, I have accepted the fact that I am only a WOMAN. I know nothing about being a man. So with that said, the jury is still out on what needs to be done about that…